Hole in My Heart Podcast

Episode 165: The Family Garden with Crystal Paine

If you are a parent or discipler of students, have you ever gone to bed kicking yourself for all of the ways you missed your child or student's heart? 
"Why didn't I say this? Why did I say that? How can I do better next time?"
If so, we can relate, and so can bestselling author Crystal Paine.
Crystal never thought she would write a parenting book, and when her child was getting kicked out of school for poor choices, she especially couldn't picture it. 
But sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom of something to really experience God's grace in it. That is what happened to Crystal, and now she approaches parenting and discipling young people totally differently:
She sees she can't fail.
What? How is that possible? Please, teach us how?
Crystal will in today's conversation as we continue our gardens' series.
Join us?
 
//Highlights:
“I was constantly just correcting, but I was spending so little time connecting.” -Crystal Paine
“There’s just this beautiful rest and freedom as a mom, because it’s not about my kids’ choices—it’s about being able to walk with them.” -Crystal Paine
 
// Do the Next Thing: 
To learn more about Crystal, head over to her website, MoneySavingMom.com!
Also, check out Crystal’s book, Love-Centered Parenting: The No-Fail Guide to Launching Your Kids, here!
BONUS: Check out one of our new favorite Bibles.
Will you consider partnering us? Learn more here!

Episode 164: The Spiritual Garden with Carolyn Schroeder

Anyone else out there struggle to experience Jesus sometimes?
We feel you.
Personal, intimate experiences with Christ are hard to find in our chaotic world.
Today, Carolyn Schroeder (Laurie’s real life mentor!!!) is here to invite us into Jesus’ presence and teach us how to have those experiences wherever we are!
Join us as we dive into deeper relationship with our Savior and Healer today.
 
// Highlights:
“God had to get me to the place of being powerless and desperate for Him so that I could be a receiver.” -Carolyn Schroeder
“My sins cannot condemn me, because there’s a solution to sin. And everyday, I take that solution.” -Carolyn Schroeder
“Only a life lived in anticipation of [God’s] goodness can live in the chaos we live in.” -Carolyn Schroeder
 
// Do the Next Thing:
Would you consider partnering with us in our mission? Click here to learn more!
Check out Carolyn’s recommendations for time with Jesus:
Lectio 365
1010 Thrive Podcast
And here’s Carolyn’s prayer featured at the end of the episode!
Hear Him say to you now: “My Beloved one, you are most precious to me.  The places in your life where you feel the most fearful, the most regretful, the most shameful are where I want to shine my love, compassion and mercy on, and I will carry that for you so it will become the place where my glory shines through. I will take what the enemy has done to wound you and bring myself into that pain for you.  If you consider acknowledging the pain others have inflicted, and give it to me, knowing  I have come to carry this pain off of you to place it on myself, so you can learn to walk in my goodness and kindness.  This is my desire for you.  It is accomplished already for you and all you need to do is open your heart and receive my life into those places so you can be free.”
“Only a life lived in an expectation of my goodness can live in the chaos around you.  I am devoted to empowering you for whatever you face, and I am with you.  You can live above your circumstance when you focus on me.  I desire you to wait on me and remain in peace in your circumstance.  I will give you my perspectives on your next step.  I have chosen you and desire to have intimacy with you.  When you are vulnerable with Me, I make you inaccessible to the enemy.  I bless you with the joy and anticipation of celebrating who I am for you in every circumstance knowing I am with you to bless you.
So dear ones, I desire your awareness of my life that is in you and your confidence in Me will overwhelm anything that can try to come against you.  For there is nothing that can defeat my purposes for you.” –Jesus

Episode 163: The Stewardship Garden with Dr. Andrew Davis

Okay, friends, let’s play “would you rather”...
Would you rather have an all-expenses paid, two week vacation in a tropical oasis—but there is one catch: You have to be discontent every second of the trip.
Or, would you rather be locked up in jail, and you are cold, hungry, have few clothes, but you know God called you there, and so all you want to do is joyfully, contentedly worship God—so you do.
Likely, most of us would pick the second option.
But what does that choice tell us?
We think it says contentment is critical and our circumstances don’t matter as much as we might think they do.
But how in the world can we become content?
How does contentment relate to our time, money, and talents that we are called to steward?
Do we need to still give if we are achingly tired and legit feel like we have nothing inside to offer another?
Let’s get after it, friends. Let’s dive into the stewardship garden with pastor and author (and all-around awesome dude) Dr. Andrew Davis.
 
// Highlights:
“Christian contentment is that sense in the heart--based on the fatherly love of God—of trusting in Him, the decisions He makes for our lives. So a lot of it has to do with submission, a faith-filled submission to our Heavenly Father and what He chooses to do with our lives, and that sense that we have of peace and joy as we trust our Heavenly Father.” -Dr. Andrew Davis
“I think you can actually go through your whole Christian life and never learn [contentment]. I think you can be a complaining…murmuring, frustrated person and still be fruitful—but you won’t be as fruitful.” -Dr. Andrew Davis
“You need to be evidently hope-filled.” -Dr. Andrew Davis
“Jesus said no one lights a lamp and puts it under a bowl; he puts it up on a stand. Could it be the stand is suffering? He’s gonna put you on a stand and make you shine in a dark place…[C]ontentment enables you to be a steward of that situation.” -Dr. Andrew Davis
 
// Do the Next Thing:
Check out TwoJourneys.org to learn more about Andy!

Episode 162: The Intellectual Garden with Dr. Kathy Koch

How do we cultivate our minds?
Today, we'll tackle this question with the always-joyful Dr. Kathy Koch, a child development expert and long-time minister.
We'll especially be taking a look at "the eight smarts," which are:
Word-smart: They think in words. When they're excited, they usually talk or write. They often thrive in school.
Logic-smart: They think with questions. They ask more questions when they're excited. Usually, they like math and science, and they love things to make sense.
Picture-smart: They think with their eyes, in pictures. Pay attention to color, design, where things are placed on a page. Art and creativity, fiction, history, and Bible are strengths of theirs.
Music-smart: They think with rhythm and melodies. When they're excited, they hum or tap or dance. They go after the musical disciplines.
Body-smart: They think with movement and touch. Love to experience life through movement. They may be athletic or artistic, culinary or theatrical. They are hands on, no matter what.
Nature-smart: They think with patterns. They would rather be outside than inside. Their strengths are often in biology, meteorology, or earth science.
People-smart: They think with other people. They brainstorm, collaborate, coordinate. When they are excited, they talk to others and get feedback.
Self-smart: They think on their own. They reflect inside of themselves. When they're excited, they engage in more self-reflection. They are quiet but have a lot to say. Often counselors, teachers, salespeople.
All of us have them at different levels, and everyone has a few that they excel in.
These are connected with Dr. Kathy's take on the core needs (she has five):
1. Security: Who can I trust?
2. Identity: Who am I?
3. Belonging: Who wants me?
4. Purpose: Why am I alive?
5. Competence: What do I do well?
Give it a listen to see how you fit into all of this!
 
// Highlights:
“For me, it was wisdom that started [my relationship with Jesus], love that completed it—other people might have that in the opposite direction.” -Dr. Kathy Koch
“We can pursue righteousness, and we should—but we don’t have to be perfect. And we have a loving, full-of-grace-mercy-and-hope-and-truth God who receives us when we mess up and acknowledge it.” -Dr. Kathy Koch
“One of the questions is “Am I smart?” And I like to tell children the answer is always yes because God doesn’t make stupid people!” -Dr. Kathy Koch
“Jesus did not die that you would have an abundant school experience. No! It’s abundant life! And life is abundant when ALL of life is abundant!” -Dr. Kathy Koch
 
// Do the Next Thing:
Thank you to the CSB Bible for sponsoring our podcast episode! Check out the Holy Illustrated Bible we talked about here!
Check out Dr. Kathy’s website to see her book, Eight Great Smarts, and more!

Episode 161: The Physical Garden with Sarah Young

Anyone else feeling a bit down about your physical self these days?
Why don't we have Sarah Young offer her thoughts?
Sarah is a marriage and sex therapist who has wrestled with her body image.
Together, we cover:
What should single people do with their sexuality?
How do we stop hating ourselves into liking ourselves?
What if we never talk about sex in our marriage?
What is the ultimate form of intimacy--for real?
How can the Church help?
We'd love for you to join the conversation.
 
// Highlights:
"[H]ow do I care for my heart and validate the struggle in the midst of the noise? How do I take on my own battle, my own journey, my own questions, frustrations, hesitancies? I have to have a safe place to do that. And hopefully that's how we show up as the church for everyone: our friends who are single, our friends who are married--wherever our community finds themselves." -Sarah Young
 
// Do the Next Thing:
Read A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Doug Rosenau.
This article by Phylicia Masonheimer
Reach us with your questions at lk@lauriekrieg.com !
Thanks, as always, for rating and reviewing the podcast!

Episode 160: An Introduction to the Gardens’ Series, Part 2, with Matt, Laurie, and Steve

It's time to bring even more color and clarity to the Oneness Mountain in this second part of our introduction to the Gardens Series!
Today, Matt and Laurie bring examples and Core Needs so we can better see that life is more than a timeline. It is more like a group of gardens to cultivate with each other and Gardener God.
After you listen, will you let us know the answer to the question: "How is your church community doing at cultivating oneness (unity, intimacy) right now? What's one way they/you are doing it well?"
Let us know so we can encourage each other with practical care! (Email: podcast@lauriekrieg.com)
This week we cover CORE NEEDS:
Affirmed: Overwhelmingly approved of
Desired: Specially chosen—no pretense necessary
Included: Wanted in this group, team, or partnership; I belong
Loved: Unconditionally accepted
Nurtured: Cared for; held
Purposed: Filled with a sense of profoundly mattering
Rested: Re-centered and reset in mind, body, spirit; includes having fun
Delighted In: Seen as unique and special
Protected: Unafraid; trusting everything is under control
Noticed: Seen inside and out
We also cover these GARDEN BARRIERS:
Rocks: Sin done to us, or the effects of the Fall on us (unchosen)
Weeds: Sin tendencies within us (These are still unchosen defaults (temptations), but we have a choice of whether we will engage the sinful tendencies.)
Broken Fence: Covenant break of any variety (affairs, porn, "what if" questions such as "What if I left?" or "What if I married that person?")
Mold: Aggravation of our circumstances (lies, bitterness, the enemy influence)
To see the Seven Gardens, see Episode 159.
 
// Do the Next Thing:
Email us with your answer to the above question! (podcast@lauriekrieg.com)

Episode 159: An Introduction to the Gardens’ Series, Part 1, with Matt, Laurie, and Steve

We at HIMH often about how “marriage and singleness are equally valuable modes we fulfill the mission to make disciples.”
But how can we to-our-core believe this if we view life only as a timeline? … You are born, you go to school, you get married, you make Christian babies, you tithe, and you die.
“Single people?” Married people say with this timeline in mind. “Uh, yeah, you’re valuable. You don’t fit the script, but you’re great!!!!!!”
We married folk are well-meaning, but a tad insincere.
However, if we do not view life simply as a timeline, rather a group of gardens to cultivate with Gardener God?
Suddenly, life gets interesting. It’s 4D. We truly view each other as equally valuable, and as necessary to thriving as the Body of Christ.
Throw on some overalls and grab a trowel; it's time to join Matt and Laurie as they unpack Intro Part 1 to the Gardens Series.
 
THE GARDENS:
Intellectual: Engaging topics of the mind about things that are traditionally non-emotional like concepts, ideas, facts
Physical: Connecting and caring physically such as hugs, hand-holding, sensual touch, sex (but not necessarily holistic-sex), touch, hugs, anything that cares for the physical/tactile body (physical exercise, eating healthy)
Emotional: Talking, crying, laughing, connecting to feelings, hopes, etc.
Spiritual: Church attendance, Bible study, worship, prayer
Social: Relational with each other and/or others
Stewardship: The way that we prioritize and direct the resources God has given us such as our skills, time, money, spiritual gifts, and votes
Family: Relationships to family including children, in-laws, and extended family
 
// Do the Next Thing:
Get our book! (Chapter 5 is where you can read more!)
We mentioned a test you can take to learn more? You can purchase the Impossible Marriage workshop here or invite us to come to do a teaching or marriage workshop on this! Reach out to Michele at events@lauriekrieg.com

Episode 158: Soul Stability in 2021 with Hannah Brencher

Author and speaker Hannah Brencher talks real life:
She's wrestled with life-threatening depression, has been a viral TED speaker, and is here today to help us to get some soul stability if our mental health has taken a hit.
Together, we explore:
How can we put practices in place without feeling like legalists?
How can we face the inner critic if he/she doesn't stop berating us?
If we show up and fail, how can we recover?
2021 requires real life conversations, and Hannah's the right one for the job.
//: Highlights
“I knew in my soul, ‘You’re not gonna hide. You’re gonna show up anyway. You’re gonna do exactly what you would have done if you were the most confident person in the world.’ And with each decision to just move forward anyway, that …inner critic loses some of its power.” -Hannah Brencher
“No one wins if you don’t show up in the world how you need to show up.... You’ll live this half-hearted life if you let fear have that amount of power over you.” -Hannah Brencher
//:Do the Next Thing
Check out Hannah’s website to find her book, Fighting Forward, as well as so much more! 

Episode 157: Gen Z’s Sex, Marriage, and Singleness Questions with Sean McDowell

This is a needed conversation, and author and apologist Sean McDowell is the right one to have it.
As parents and ministry leaders, we don't always know how to answer Gen Z's toughest questions. Praise the Lord that Sean does, and that he's willing to help us to unpack ones like:
“Why would God keep me from loving whomever I want to love?"
“Why do you call your attractions to the same sex brokenness? You are not broken.”
“I just need to be free. Why are you stopping me from freedom?”
“If I am attracted to the same sex, why would God call me to loneliness (ie. singleness)?”
“Who cares about sex before marriage?”
Thanks, Sean, for being a helpful friend today on the podcast! (And for being a real friend to Laurie at the surprise ending that made her cry happy tears. Listen all the way to the end to hear it. :) )
//: Highlights
“If I could give one piece of advice, it would be to have conversations with your kids.” -Sean McDowell
“The point in this is that sex means something. So the final question...is if we communicate with our bodies and sex means something, then how do we love God and love other people with our bodies? What does that mean? And what does that look like?” -Sean McDowell
//: Do the Next Thing
Check out Sean’s book, Chasing Love, as well as other resources, here!  

How Did We Get Here? with Os Guinness

Buckle your seatbelts, friends. This episode gets a bit bumpy.
Maybe your family—like ours—has people with different political beliefs in it. When I (Laurie) chose to co-host this episode with my dad, I didn’t realize a major theme would be loving each other through differing political beliefs.
The major gift of this surprise theme was that by the end, we were all nodding in agreement with each other—unified in the gospel.
And oh yeah… the matchless Os Guinness may have been our guest, but he acted like a brilliant mediator guiding my dad and I (and our divided world?) toward grace for each other and a reliance on “true truth.”
Maybe you can relate to this conversation?
P.S. This was recorded before the mob at the capital, but the heart of it is still very much applicable.
//: Highlights
“People don’t realize the wonder of the gospel! So I give you the little phrase, 'Contrast is the mother of clarity.’ Every time you see what the alternatives [to the gospel] lead to, you come back with wonder, love, and praise at the difference the good news of Jesus makes.” -Os Guinness
“Remember how Elijah made people convinced that Jehovah was the real God was the miracle of the fire coming down. We can show miracles today, too….For…followers of Christ to love each other, despite their differences, is a powerful message to our very split world.” -Randy Heckman
“Hopelessness and despair are always pagan. The gospel always ends in a sense of hope.” -Os Guinness
“Have faith in God. Have no fear.” -Os Guinness
//: Do the Next Thing
Check out more of Dr. Guinness on his website!