Hole in My Heart Podcast

Episode 173: Marriage and Mental Health with Aaron & Jamie Ivey

Oh, you guys. This conversation…
It’s not often Matt and I (Laurie) are surprised by our guests, but we were surprised in the best way today.
Podcaster, author, and boss-mom, Jamie Ivey, and pastor, author, and tender-hearted dad, Aaron Ivey, got real—like really real.
Matt and I were going along, simply enjoying the conversation with these incredibly humble and kind people, and then Therapist Matt asks a question about how childhood wounding relates to marriage pain. (Way to go, counselor!) We suddenly took a left turn, and found ourselves talking about Aaron’s recent clinical depression diagnosis. 
What contributed to it? 
How did Jamie respond? 
What if we have been feeling similarly this last year, but are sick of people saying, “Oh yes, everyone is depressed. It’s 2020/21.”
Ooo, friends. This is a rich one. 
 
// Highlights:
“Oneness takes work.” -Laurie Krieg
“[Our] friendship turned into deep abiding love, and that’s what’s kept us through the whole [marriage].” -Aaron Ivey
“My advice would be….to pray. [It] would really, really be to pray. And no pray, ‘Oh that they come around,’ or whatever, but pray that they fall in love with Jesus. Because I honestly think that [in] falling in love with Jesus, a lot of the pieces that we’re wanting to get fixed, they fall into place that way.” -Jamie Ivey
“Single people need to hear and understand: You have value and purpose and there’s something that God has for you to do right now in your singleness. Because if you can wrap your mind around that, then marriage won’t be this thing that you feel like you can finally get to and THEN do something awesome with your life.” -Aaron Ivey
“There is no shame with mental health. None.” -Aaron Ivey
 
// Do the Next Thing:
Check out the Iveys’ book!
Jamie mentioned interviewing Aaron on her podcast. Find that episode here!
Also—here’s that one time Jamie interviewed us!

Episode 172: Friends--Finding, Keeping, and Loving Them with Julie Fisk & Kendra Roehl

This is another conversation we cannot engage too frequently: Friendship.
How in the world can we do it well?
Real-life friends, authors, and founders of The Ruth Experience, Julie Fisk and Kendra Roehl, wisely and winsomely engaged Laurie’s latest habit of tossing quite challenging questions at guests.
Together, the group explored: 
How do we confront our friends?
What about friend-shame? (If I feel that I have too few friends or not enough time for the ones I have?)
Should we wait for friends to come to us or do we go to them?
How do you know if you are asking too much of your friendships?
Do guys do friendship differently?
What if we are attracted to our friends?
// Highlights:
“If the girls of Jesus linked arms and did healthy community with one another, I think we would be an unstoppable force.” -Julie Fisk
“We can trust the Holy Spirit more than we think we can when it comes to relationships.” -Kendra Roehl
“God asks us to move, and He will meet us when we move, but He often pushes us out of our comfort zones. And as the girls who believe in Jesus, we are to be the inviters…I understand the desire…to be invited, but I have found more often than not, I have to be the inviter….Jesus frequently makes me take the step.” -Julie Fisk
// Do the Next Thing:
Want to hear more from Julie, Kendra, and the Ruth Experience? Head over to their website here.
Guys! The Journey Well Study is ON SALE this week! Check it out here.
Want to join a monthly, live Q and A conversation with Matt and Laurie and others who listen? Support the ministry and $15 or more a month and you’ll get exclusive access to this as well as other ministry exclusives and updates!

Episode 171: All the ”Easy” Convos with Phylicia Masonheimer

Why engage only one challenging topic concerning women when you can engage more?
Such as…
What is biblical feminism (and should we call ourselves biblical feminists if we are pro-woman)?
What does it mean to be feminine?
Is there a right and wrong when it comes to marriage: complementarian or egalitarian? 
Bible teacher and author, Phylicia Masonheimer, handles all of these questions and more with aplomb. (Yes, aplomb.)
Pull up an earbud, friends, and join this really enjoyable conversation.
 
// Highlights:
“What I found in Scripture was that the heart of the person and their desire to walk with the Lord and evidence the fruit of the Spirit is God’s top priority. And some of those extra personality traits? They’re just the freedom that He gives us to express that personality, as long as we’re surrendering it to the Lord.” -Phylicia Masonheimer 
// Do the Next Thing:
Check out more of Phylicia’s work at her website!
Check out an Egalitarian/Complementarian description here
ALSO—here’s our new favorite Bible. Check it out!

Episode 170: How to Biblically Engage the Trans* Conversation with Dr. Preston Sprinkle

We are not sure there is a bigger, more delicate, more divisive, or more misunderstood conversation in Christendom right now than how to approach the trans* conversation.
So, we’re bringing in the best expert on the conversation right now: our dear friend of the podcast (and in real life!), Dr. Preston Sprinkle.
Together, we explore:
If we hold to a historically Christian view of marriage (believing it is between one man and one woman) how does that affect our beliefs on gender? Does it?
Should Christians transition?
Is this whole thing just a big trend?
How can we love beloved, trans* image bearers like Jesus?
No longer can we offer pat answers or avoid the whole thing, dear family. Let’s dive in together.
// Highlights:
“Think deeply and love widely.” -Preston Sprinkle
“We need to look through these identities to the person. And really have the kindness and patience of Christ to get to know this human being in front of you.” -Preston Sprinkle
// Do the Next Thing:
Explore more of Preston’s work, especially Embodied, here!
Check out our new favorite Bible here!

Episode 169: The Gifts of Rejection with Kait Warman

When you think of the word “rejection,” what comes to mind?
When you were a kid and were the last one chosen for kickball? 
Junior high lunch room not knowing where to sit? 
Maybe you think of last week when that person didn’t text you back? 
No matter what comes to mind, most of us wouldn’t put rejection in the “gift” file of our minds. 
However, author and dating coach, Kait Warman, has a different view:
After processing the deep pain of rejection with Jesus, she has learned to be grateful for it. 
How, Kait? Seriously, how do you do that?!
Let’s go, friends. 
// Highlights:
“In the wake of a rejection, we wanna see six months ahead. We wanna know next week, next month, and we wanna see the future….So my prayer usually to God in the wake of a rejection is, ‘God, would you give me the grace just to handle today?’” -Kait Warman
// Do the Next Thing:
Head over to Kait’s website for more resources!
Check out our new favorite Bible!

Episode 168: The Basics of Engaging Racial Divides with Daniel Hill

We’re asking the question again: How do we engage racial divides well?
The topic of race has faded from the trends the last few months—but for Christ-followers, the work is just beginning. We have a lot of ground to cover and many questions along the way. Never fear, though; our Savior is walking with us!
Pastor Daniel Hill is here to walk with us as well, taking us with him on his own journey.
Friends? Will you join us as we explore this topic even more deeply than before?
// Highlights:
“For me, the most important aspect of repentance is this acknowledgment that Jesus Christ has a perspective on the problem of race that I don’t currently share. He sees it in a way that I don’t currently see it. So to repent is to say that I don’t have the mind of Christ in this arena and I want to have the mind of Christ.” -Daniel Hill
“Racism is built on this lie about human value. It says that some people are superior—white—and some people are inferior—black—and then it measures—Asian, Middle Eastern, Latino—it measures based on the proximity to those two poles….We just have to see that those lies have very real impact. They don’t just mess up souls. They mess up neighborhoods, they mess up communities. They mess up all kinds of other things.” -Daniel Hill “It’s not a political issue at all; it’s an Imago Dei issue.” -Daniel Hill
// Do the Next Thing:
Check out David’s writing at his website!
Here’s our new favorite Bible—check it out!

Episode 167: The Social Garden with Dr. Greg Coles

Goodness, we loved this conversation.
Two-time author and one of our favorite friends of the podcast, Greg Coles, is back to mentor us.
On what?
Well, our friendships.
Questions we explore include:
How did you know you were called to singleness + celibacy (and not marriage)?
What does belonging mean if we are feeling lonely?
Can we have a social life with Jesus?
What does it mean to say (and believe) "God is enough"?
How can married + single people build each other up?
How should the Church interact with our social lives?
We'd love for you to join us.
// Highlights:
“It’s actually in the reckless pursuit of Jesus that you find yourself being given a much better belonging than you thought you could possibly earn.” -Greg Coles
“There’s...this broader claim that...with human beings, they’re actually intended to share life with one another to see the face of God reflected in the image of God around them in these Image-Bearers.” -Greg Coles
“Jesus is not a God who interacts with us at a distance.” -Greg Coles
“It actually matters so little what I can do, or what I can recognize, or what I can wrap my head around, or what I can cling to—because all the most important clinging is the clinging that Jesus is doing...to me.” -Greg Coles
// Do the Next Thing:
Check out Greg’s new book, along with his other content, on his website!
Want to hear more of Greg on the podcast? Check it out here!

Episode 166: The Emotional Garden with Dr. Peace Amadi

In 2019, between 6-11% of US adults had symptoms of an anxiety or depressive disorder (CDC).
By the end of 2020? Between 39 and 42% of US adults experienced anxiety or depression (Journal of Public Health).
We need help, and psychology professor and author Dr. Peace Amadi is here to offer it. 
When should we call a therapist?
Why should we?
How can we walk with each other through this (if the therapist’s waiting list is 6-months long)? 
Let’s go, friends.
No shame, no judgment, let’s just care for each other like Jesus cares for us.
// Highlights:
“The absolute first step is just to pause and listen and name the pain….Whatever it is, it’s so important to name it. That can’t be overstated. Because when you name the pain, you basically tell yourself that it’s real and it deserves attention and that there’s something that your body, your mind, your psyche is trying to tell you.” -Dr. Peace Amadi
// Do the Next Thing:
Check out Peace’s work and latest book!
If you’re looking for a “friend in the trenches,” check out our coaching resources!
Also, check out our new favorite Bible!

Episode 165: The Family Garden with Crystal Paine

If you are a parent or discipler of students, have you ever gone to bed kicking yourself for all of the ways you missed your child or student's heart? 
"Why didn't I say this? Why did I say that? How can I do better next time?"
If so, we can relate, and so can bestselling author Crystal Paine.
Crystal never thought she would write a parenting book, and when her child was getting kicked out of school for poor choices, she especially couldn't picture it. 
But sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom of something to really experience God's grace in it. That is what happened to Crystal, and now she approaches parenting and discipling young people totally differently:
She sees she can't fail.
What? How is that possible? Please, teach us how?
Crystal will in today's conversation as we continue our gardens' series.
Join us?
 
//Highlights:
“I was constantly just correcting, but I was spending so little time connecting.” -Crystal Paine
“There’s just this beautiful rest and freedom as a mom, because it’s not about my kids’ choices—it’s about being able to walk with them.” -Crystal Paine
 
// Do the Next Thing: 
To learn more about Crystal, head over to her website, MoneySavingMom.com!
Also, check out Crystal’s book, Love-Centered Parenting: The No-Fail Guide to Launching Your Kids, here!
BONUS: Check out one of our new favorite Bibles.
Will you consider partnering us? Learn more here!

Episode 164: The Spiritual Garden with Carolyn Schroeder

Anyone else out there struggle to experience Jesus sometimes?
We feel you.
Personal, intimate experiences with Christ are hard to find in our chaotic world.
Today, Carolyn Schroeder (Laurie’s real life mentor!!!) is here to invite us into Jesus’ presence and teach us how to have those experiences wherever we are!
Join us as we dive into deeper relationship with our Savior and Healer today.
 
// Highlights:
“God had to get me to the place of being powerless and desperate for Him so that I could be a receiver.” -Carolyn Schroeder
“My sins cannot condemn me, because there’s a solution to sin. And everyday, I take that solution.” -Carolyn Schroeder
“Only a life lived in anticipation of [God’s] goodness can live in the chaos we live in.” -Carolyn Schroeder
 
// Do the Next Thing:
Would you consider partnering with us in our mission? Click here to learn more!
Check out Carolyn’s recommendations for time with Jesus:
Lectio 365
1010 Thrive Podcast
And here’s Carolyn’s prayer featured at the end of the episode!
Hear Him say to you now: “My Beloved one, you are most precious to me.  The places in your life where you feel the most fearful, the most regretful, the most shameful are where I want to shine my love, compassion and mercy on, and I will carry that for you so it will become the place where my glory shines through. I will take what the enemy has done to wound you and bring myself into that pain for you.  If you consider acknowledging the pain others have inflicted, and give it to me, knowing  I have come to carry this pain off of you to place it on myself, so you can learn to walk in my goodness and kindness.  This is my desire for you.  It is accomplished already for you and all you need to do is open your heart and receive my life into those places so you can be free.”
“Only a life lived in an expectation of my goodness can live in the chaos around you.  I am devoted to empowering you for whatever you face, and I am with you.  You can live above your circumstance when you focus on me.  I desire you to wait on me and remain in peace in your circumstance.  I will give you my perspectives on your next step.  I have chosen you and desire to have intimacy with you.  When you are vulnerable with Me, I make you inaccessible to the enemy.  I bless you with the joy and anticipation of celebrating who I am for you in every circumstance knowing I am with you to bless you.
So dear ones, I desire your awareness of my life that is in you and your confidence in Me will overwhelm anything that can try to come against you.  For there is nothing that can defeat my purposes for you.” –Jesus