Hole in My Heart Podcast

Episode 178: Season 4 Wrap with Matt, Laurie, and Steve

Even though picking favorite episodes from this season is like choosing a favorite child, we snagged your top listened-to ones from this season (and some of our most memorable conversations), and reflected on clips from them. 
Here are the episodes we cover:
“Caring for People Wrestling with Gender” with Mark Yarhouse
“Shredding Shame in a Pandemic” with Dr. Curt Thompson
“Defining Stress and Success” with John Mark Comer
“Start Where You Are” with Rashawn Copeland
“Intro to the Gardens’ Series Part 2” with Matt and Laurie
“Marriage and Mental Health” with Aaron and Jamie Ivey
We also get honest about how we feel about how this season went, and we look ahead to the summer and fall (SEASON FIVE!)
Thanks for being a part of what made this season really sweet. There is no reason to do this thing without you.
// Highlights:
“We’re trying to be proactive, to make the Church a place where it’s safe to wrestle with things, and one of the primary ways we can do that is to really stop worshipping at the feet of marriage and start worshipping at the feet of Jesus.” -Laurie Krieg
// Do the Next Thing:
Are you interested in any LGBT+/sexuality/Church oneness trainings we do? Email Michele at events@lauriekrieg.com

Episode 177: How Can We Engage “Love is Love” and Other Arguments?

We think this episode might be worth listening to more than once.
It’s that good and that important…especially this month (Pride Month).
Author and teacher, Rebecca McLaughlin, takes some of the real-life theological conversations many of us are having right now and helps us to respond with grace and truth.
She explores these questions and more:
How can we respond kindly and truthfully when people say to us, “Love is love! Why can’t you just love people!”?
What can we say when people tell us that holding to a historical biblical view of marriage is intrinsically harmful (ie. It encourages suicidal behavior)?
What if people point at slavery being acceptable in the Bible, “And it was wrong about that, so it must be wrong about ‘homosexuality’”?
What if friends also say, “How can you prevent people from loving who they want to love?”
We’re going to go there, friends. We need to—with grace, love, and truth.
// Do the Next Thing: 
Find all of Rebecca’s books here.
Follow us and what we are up to here.

Episode 176: How to Make Friends with Your Loneliness with Dr. Kelly Flanagan

“I used to think I was the only one who was lonely. After all, when you look around, other people don’t look lonely. They just look like they are drinking a latte.” —Dr. Kelly Flanagan
Goodness, this quote from Dr. Kelly Flanagan’s new book, "True Companions: A Book for Everyone About the Relationships That See Us Through," gripped us.
If loneliness is that deep-seated reality that you have corners of your heart that only you and Jesus understand, aren’t we all lonely? And isn’t it time we admit it?  Dr. Kelly Flanagan thinks it’s not only time to admit our lonely realities but to befriend loneliness.
After talking with him and reading his book, we are convinced we should do the same.
Okay…but as we/before we do this, we have a few questions:
What is the difference between loneliness and isolation?
How much are our friends/family/the Church responsible for alleviating isolation and how much is on us to process with Jesus?
Why is befriending this loneliness journey better than avoiding with Netflix and wine?
Pull up your own loneliness to the table and listen in to what we found to be a beautiful, de-isolating, honest conversation.
 
// Highlights:
“A lot of us think of lonely as a feeling that goes along with a certain set of conditions. But when I’m talking about loneliness, I’m talking about it as a fact, like a fact of our humanness.” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan
“[T]o love companionably, to love with the love that we call phileo...is to come alongside, to enter into the life, to say, ‘I’m gonna walk along with you in this.’” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan
“We have to cultivate the capacity to create spaces of non-doing.” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan
“A thousand hearts [on Instagram] leaves us feeling isolated....We need to be attentive to populating our lives with people who we are working together [with] to see each other and understand each other as well as we can.” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan
// Do the Next Thing:
Go get Dr. Kelly’s books, True Companions and Lovable!
Looking for someone to walk through stuff with you? Check out coaching with Laurie!
Follow Laurie on Instagram for updates on what’s going on next!

Episode 175: Helping Kids to Hear God with Dr. Michelle Anthony

If you disciple children in any capacity, how’s it going for you?
I mean, we have all gone through a lot in the last year, and so have young people.
Today, author and teacher, Dr. Michele Anthony, comes alongside us to help us care for kids’ hurting hearts.
Together, we explore:
How can we teach kids to hear God’s voice? (Is it even possible?)
How can we lead kids as a “spiritual parent” instead of a “fear-based” one? (And what does it even mean to parent spiritually?)
How can we help children to have a gospel-centered identity?
Only the easy questions today. ;)  Join us?
// Highlights: 
“First, God is in charge.” -Dr. Michelle Anthony (quoting her daughter)
“[Spiritual parenting] means I have an audience of One. It means I’m not parenting for the whole world to say I’m a good parent; I’m parenting before God to say, ‘I’m really taking seriously that you entrusted this child to me.’” -Dr. Michelle Anthony
“[Spiritual parenting is] done in concert with the Holy Spirit.” -Dr. Michelle Anthony
// Do the Next Thing:
Check out more of Michelle at her website!
For updates on our ministry and connection to other listeners, join our Facebook group!

Episode 174: Tov vs. Toxicity in the Church with Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer

When we look at churches and ministries today, we often don’t see Jesus.
Instead, we see scandal. Abuse. Toxicity.
What do we do with this?
How do we change and prevent it?
Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer have an answer: tov.
Tov is the Hebrew word for “good,” and it’s who God is and who He calls us to be.
As Scot says it, tov is “the redemptive dimension of churches that can prevent them from toxicity.” We need more of this.
Let’s listen in.
// Highlights:
“This [book] was really a work of faith for me, realizing that God is in the wounded. That He’s with the wounded, He’s with the resisters. And I’ve found that, sadly, churches silencing victims was so discouraging and so disorienting. But what I found through the journey was that, that is not God, that God is truth and that God, like I said, is with the wounded.” -Laura Barringer
“The gospel is about the goodness of God—God is tov—because He is Himself tov, and therefore, we get incorporated into that kind of gospel and it just fills us with tov and goodness! And we want to be that kind of person in the world, because that’s the way Jesus was.” -Scot McKnight
“Who are we talking about when we leave the church? Are we talking about God? Are we talking about Jesus? Are we talking about the Spirit? Are we talking about the fellowship of the saints and the worship? Or are we talking about how great the pastor was [and] how great the church was?…When that’s the commentary in the car on the way home, we’re on the verge of trouble.” -Scot McKnight
// Do the Next Thing:
Check out Scot and Laura’s book, A Church Called Tov, here.
Here’s Scot’s blog!
Also, guys! We are looking for partners in our ministry! If you’re interested, join us over here.
For updates on our ministry, check out Laurie’s Instagram.

Episode 173: Marriage and Mental Health with Aaron & Jamie Ivey

Oh, you guys. This conversation…
It’s not often Matt and I (Laurie) are surprised by our guests, but we were surprised in the best way today.
Podcaster, author, and boss-mom, Jamie Ivey, and pastor, author, and tender-hearted dad, Aaron Ivey, got real—like really real.
Matt and I were going along, simply enjoying the conversation with these incredibly humble and kind people, and then Therapist Matt asks a question about how childhood wounding relates to marriage pain. (Way to go, counselor!) We suddenly took a left turn, and found ourselves talking about Aaron’s recent clinical depression diagnosis. 
What contributed to it? 
How did Jamie respond? 
What if we have been feeling similarly this last year, but are sick of people saying, “Oh yes, everyone is depressed. It’s 2020/21.”
Ooo, friends. This is a rich one. 
 
// Highlights:
“Oneness takes work.” -Laurie Krieg
“[Our] friendship turned into deep abiding love, and that’s what’s kept us through the whole [marriage].” -Aaron Ivey
“My advice would be….to pray. [It] would really, really be to pray. And no pray, ‘Oh that they come around,’ or whatever, but pray that they fall in love with Jesus. Because I honestly think that [in] falling in love with Jesus, a lot of the pieces that we’re wanting to get fixed, they fall into place that way.” -Jamie Ivey
“Single people need to hear and understand: You have value and purpose and there’s something that God has for you to do right now in your singleness. Because if you can wrap your mind around that, then marriage won’t be this thing that you feel like you can finally get to and THEN do something awesome with your life.” -Aaron Ivey
“There is no shame with mental health. None.” -Aaron Ivey
 
// Do the Next Thing:
Check out the Iveys’ book!
Jamie mentioned interviewing Aaron on her podcast. Find that episode here!
Also—here’s that one time Jamie interviewed us!

Episode 172: Friends--Finding, Keeping, and Loving Them with Julie Fisk & Kendra Roehl

This is another conversation we cannot engage too frequently: Friendship.
How in the world can we do it well?
Real-life friends, authors, and founders of The Ruth Experience, Julie Fisk and Kendra Roehl, wisely and winsomely engaged Laurie’s latest habit of tossing quite challenging questions at guests.
Together, the group explored: 
How do we confront our friends?
What about friend-shame? (If I feel that I have too few friends or not enough time for the ones I have?)
Should we wait for friends to come to us or do we go to them?
How do you know if you are asking too much of your friendships?
Do guys do friendship differently?
What if we are attracted to our friends?
// Highlights:
“If the girls of Jesus linked arms and did healthy community with one another, I think we would be an unstoppable force.” -Julie Fisk
“We can trust the Holy Spirit more than we think we can when it comes to relationships.” -Kendra Roehl
“God asks us to move, and He will meet us when we move, but He often pushes us out of our comfort zones. And as the girls who believe in Jesus, we are to be the inviters…I understand the desire…to be invited, but I have found more often than not, I have to be the inviter….Jesus frequently makes me take the step.” -Julie Fisk
// Do the Next Thing:
Want to hear more from Julie, Kendra, and the Ruth Experience? Head over to their website here.
Guys! The Journey Well Study is ON SALE this week! Check it out here.
Want to join a monthly, live Q and A conversation with Matt and Laurie and others who listen? Support the ministry and $15 or more a month and you’ll get exclusive access to this as well as other ministry exclusives and updates!

Episode 171: All the ”Easy” Convos with Phylicia Masonheimer

Why engage only one challenging topic concerning women when you can engage more?
Such as…
What is biblical feminism (and should we call ourselves biblical feminists if we are pro-woman)?
What does it mean to be feminine?
Is there a right and wrong when it comes to marriage: complementarian or egalitarian? 
Bible teacher and author, Phylicia Masonheimer, handles all of these questions and more with aplomb. (Yes, aplomb.)
Pull up an earbud, friends, and join this really enjoyable conversation.
 
// Highlights:
“What I found in Scripture was that the heart of the person and their desire to walk with the Lord and evidence the fruit of the Spirit is God’s top priority. And some of those extra personality traits? They’re just the freedom that He gives us to express that personality, as long as we’re surrendering it to the Lord.” -Phylicia Masonheimer 
// Do the Next Thing:
Check out more of Phylicia’s work at her website!
Check out an Egalitarian/Complementarian description here
ALSO—here’s our new favorite Bible. Check it out!

Episode 170: How to Biblically Engage the Trans* Conversation with Dr. Preston Sprinkle

We are not sure there is a bigger, more delicate, more divisive, or more misunderstood conversation in Christendom right now than how to approach the trans* conversation.
So, we’re bringing in the best expert on the conversation right now: our dear friend of the podcast (and in real life!), Dr. Preston Sprinkle.
Together, we explore:
If we hold to a historically Christian view of marriage (believing it is between one man and one woman) how does that affect our beliefs on gender? Does it?
Should Christians transition?
Is this whole thing just a big trend?
How can we love beloved, trans* image bearers like Jesus?
No longer can we offer pat answers or avoid the whole thing, dear family. Let’s dive in together.
// Highlights:
“Think deeply and love widely.” -Preston Sprinkle
“We need to look through these identities to the person. And really have the kindness and patience of Christ to get to know this human being in front of you.” -Preston Sprinkle
// Do the Next Thing:
Explore more of Preston’s work, especially Embodied, here!
Check out our new favorite Bible here!

Episode 169: The Gifts of Rejection with Kait Warman

When you think of the word “rejection,” what comes to mind?
When you were a kid and were the last one chosen for kickball? 
Junior high lunch room not knowing where to sit? 
Maybe you think of last week when that person didn’t text you back? 
No matter what comes to mind, most of us wouldn’t put rejection in the “gift” file of our minds. 
However, author and dating coach, Kait Warman, has a different view:
After processing the deep pain of rejection with Jesus, she has learned to be grateful for it. 
How, Kait? Seriously, how do you do that?!
Let’s go, friends. 
// Highlights:
“In the wake of a rejection, we wanna see six months ahead. We wanna know next week, next month, and we wanna see the future….So my prayer usually to God in the wake of a rejection is, ‘God, would you give me the grace just to handle today?’” -Kait Warman
// Do the Next Thing:
Head over to Kait’s website for more resources!
Check out our new favorite Bible!