Hole in My Heart Podcast

Episode 92 Take Two: Broken + Beloved Pastors with Johnny and Amanda McKenna

Guys! We’re back with this highly requested conversation with our REAL LIFE FRIENDS Johnny and Amanda.
What happens when a pastor suffers addiction in silence?
What happens when he has an affair?
What happens when health problems keep a couple from having sex?
Is there hope for marriages that go through these things?
Johnny and Amanda are here to say YES! God is a God of redemption and their story is beautiful proof. It’s worth the listen.
I Highlights I
“I constantly felt like I didn’t measure up. Pornography was an escape from that feeling for me. ‘Finally, I don’t have to feel that just for that moment.’ But after that moment is over . . . now I’m right where I started, and in an even worse spot.”
–Johnny McKenna
“We could not have sex for two years of our marriage. I was so ashamed. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, what was wrong with my body. I didn’t understand it. It’s so hard and embarrassing to talk about with people . . . I felt so helpless.”
–Amanda McKenna
“All this is going on and I’m saying to myself … ‘You’re such a scumbag … It’s time to take my life … I’ll be gone, but my legacy will be in tact. I won’t be this pastor that is another Hall of Shame member. I won’t have to tell my boys that I failed them–that I cheated on their mom. I won’t have to tell my youth group kids and leaders. I can at least provide for them financially. They’ll be in a better place because I have life insurance.’ I thought that was the best case scenario. Those were the lies Satan was whispering in my ear.”
–Johnny Mckenna
”One of the things [my friend] said was, ‘Amanda, God is saving your husband right now.’ It shocked me. ‘What do you mean He’s saving us? It feels like He’s killing us.’ But then that meaning sunk in: Johnny was living bound and held captive by his sin. But now, God was in the process of saving him. …That’s really beautiful if you think about it: God steps into the mess and he fights for you.”
–Amanda McKenna
I Do the Next Thing I
Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Join our Facebook group for more updates! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast

Episode 91 Take Two: Broken + Beloved Pastors with Ben and Lauren Schulke

We are thrilled to be revisiting the Broken and Beloved Pastors series! In the next three episodes, we’ll hear the stories of three pastors who are, like all of us, “more loved than we can imagine and more sinful than we believe.”
What happens when a pastor wrestles with gender dysphoria?
What happens when the same pastor is called to bring that wrestling into the light, in his marriage and with his community?
What happens to his ministry? To his marriage? To his identity?
Ben and Lauren Schulke answer these questions and more as they recount their story with us. We are honored to share it with you.
I Highlights I
“I very much tried to control the image of how people saw me. But . . . when people know me they can choose to love me and not some facsimile.” –Ben Schulke
“I got to this place where I said, ‘I would rather be obedient to God than preserve something temporary–like my job.'”–Ben Schulke
“Ben’s identity is not gender dysphoria. His identity is not whatever other sin or brokenness he is dealing with. That’s not who he is. He is a son of God, and he is loved by Him.” –Lauren Schulke
I Do the Next Thing I
For more on this conversation, check out Mark Yarhouse’s book Emerging Gender Identities! It’s exciting stuff. :D https://www.amazon.com/Emerging-Gender-Identities-Understanding-Experiences/dp/1587434342
You can also check out Preston Sprinkle’s book on trans* issues, Embodied. https://www.amazon.com/Embodied-Transgender-Identities-Church-Bible/dp/0830781226
Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Follow Laurie on Instagram for more ministry updates! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/?hl=en

Episode 99 Take Two: A Gender Conversation with Heather Skriba

The gender conversation today is swirling with confusion and hurt for everyone involved.
How do we as Christians enter into this conversation?
Today, we revisit a conversation with Heather Skriba, who, having wrestled with gender dysphoria her whole life, has a compassionate and truthful perspective on this issue.
We’re thrilled to share this episode once again! Join us!
I Highlights I
“God never just settles for salvation. He is truly redeeming everything.” -Heather Skriba
“There are people in my life that didn’t call me by name for two years, and by extension, didn’t use a pronoun when referring to me … How can you expect to have any trust or relational equity built if you are not even willing to refer to someone in a way that distinguishes them as human?”
–Heather Skriba
“I didn’t know how to let God into the painful, hurting, and dark places of my heart–not just gender– but anxiety, codependency, insecurity, and self hatred. I didn’t know how to access the heart of God in those places … I think that is something that is really missing from a lot of relationships when people try to walk with LGBT people and LGBT Christians.” –Heather Skriba
I Do the Next Thing I
For more on this conversation, check out Mark Yarhouse’s book Emerging Gender Identities! It’s exciting stuff. :D https://www.amazon.com/Emerging-Gender-Identities-Understanding-Experiences/dp/1587434342
Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Join our Facebook group for more updates! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast

Episode 83 Take Two: Sexuality and Shame with Dan Allender

So often, sexuality brings shame right on its heels.
How can we banish it? How can we heal?
Join us today as we revisit this conversation with Dr. Dan Allender to learn how stepping into the light and grace of Jesus can heal our shame when it comes to sexuality.
***Heads up: We do address sexual trauma in this episode, though not graphically. If this is part of your story or that of someone close to you, please take care of yourself and listen with caution.***
I Highlights I
“The return on investment for the kingdom of darkness is profound in regard to abuse. [It] disintegrates some level of our faith, our ability to trust, our ability to dream and hope, and certainly our ability to give delight and pleasure to one another.” –Dan Allender
“I think contempt is our way to manage shame with a level of control that annihilates ourselves so we don’t feel, so we don’t want, so we don’t risk. Contempt is really just another form of self-hatred that allows us to lessen the experience of shame.” –Dan Allender
“I’ve seen it literally thousands of times: People who enter the truth and allow their hearts to receive kindness … that’s the context for the Spirit of God to bring about remarkable change.” –Dan Allender
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out Dan’s books!
* *Healing the Wounded Heart*: https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Wounded-Heart-Heartache-Transformation/dp/0801015685/ref=sr_1_1?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIuKW167mj4gIVr__jBx1WqA6aEAAYAiAAEgKOSPD_BwE&hvadid=174217451664&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9017520&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1t2&hvqmt=e&hvrand=15049734708914584592&hvtargid=kwd-2871614828&hydadcr=24629_9648897&keywords=healing+the+wounded+heart&qid=1558126587&s=gateway&sr=8-1
* *God Loves Sex*: https://www.amazon.com/God-Loves-Sex-Conversation-Holiness/dp/0801015669/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=god+loves+sex&qid=1558126633&s=gateway&sr=8-1
While you’re at it, head over to the Allender Center for more resources and information! https://theallendercenter.org/
Looking for more podcasts? The Allender Center has a good one. https://theallendercenter.org/category/podcast/
For ministries updates from Laurie and the Crew, join our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com

Episode 82 Take Two: How to Lament with Mark Vroegop

As Laurie says, “We’re kind of lament-obsessed around here.”
It’s true. And it made running this episode a second time an easy choice for this series.
Since the first time this episode ran, there is still pain and brokenness in our lives, and we need a place to take it. Cue Mark Vroegop, ushering us to the feet of Jesus with this spiritual practice that truly has revolutionized our lives.
Will you lament with us today?
I Highlights I
“People who know how to lament are comfortable with saying less or nothing. They intuitively have a heart that is oriented toward empathy. They don’t panic when their friend says something that is edgy or a little scary.” –Mark Vroegop
“Lament is not just crying. Lament is talking to God about what causes the crying.” –Mark Vroegop
“One out of every three songs in the official songbook of God’s people–songs that had music and were sung–reflect this sort of minor key [lament] tune. We are not only unfamiliar with lament, but our churches are generally lament-light.” –Mark Vroegop
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out Mark’s book, *Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament* here: http://markvroegop.com/books/
Want more of Mark Vroegop? Read some of his articles here!
* “Strong Churches Speak the Language of Lament” on Gospel Coalition: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/strong-churches-lanuage-lament/
* “Dare to Hope in God: How to Lament Well” on Desiring God: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/dare-to-hope-in-god
For more on lament, listen to Laurie’s “How to Lament in the Face of Pushback” talk here: https://soundcloud.com/laurie-krieg/bonus-facing-the-unthinkable-talk
Also, to learn about Safe Place Prayer, find Matt’s thoughts here: https://soundcloud.com/laurie-krieg/bonus-safe-place-prayer-with-matt
Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Join our Facebook group for more updates! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast

Episode 64 Take Two: Exploring Our Souls of Shame with Curt Thompson

Welcome to TAKE TWO of Exploring Our Souls of Shame!
Rerunning this episode was an obvious choice because we *all* deal with shame.
Curt Thompson beautifully describes not only the experience of shame, but also its antidote: Jesus.
Join us as we learn resilience and joy in this brilliant conversation!
I Highlights I
“The gospel–if it is good news–does not begin with ‘I am more sinful than I believe.’ It begins, in fact, with ‘I am more loved than I can imagine.’ It is in that space of being loved incessantly, relentlessly, that we become aware just how sinful we are.” –Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D.
“God–even in His pursuit–He is not going to shame us. He is not going to twist my arm. He is not going to shame me for not having my shame cleaned up well enough. He is going to relentlessly pursue me.” –Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D.
“The healing of shame is not just a way for us to not longer feel bad about ourselves. It’s a way to re-commission us to do the work of goodness and beauty that God has had for us since before the creation of the world.” –Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D.
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out Curt’s book, the *Soul of Shame.* https://www.amazon.com/Soul-Shame-Retelling-Stories-Ourselves/dp/0830844333
Want to learn more about shame? Listen to our other episodes on it here!
- Episode 155: Getting to the Root of Porn in a Time of Turmoil with Michael John Cusick - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/getting-to-the-root-of-porn-in-a-time-of-turmoil-with-michael-john-cusick/
- Episode 164: The Spiritual Garden with Carolyn Schroeder - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-spiritual-garden-with-carolyn-schroeder/
- Episode 166: The Emotional Garden with Peace Amadi - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-spiritual-garden-with-carolyn-schroeder/
- Episode 173: Marriage and Mental Health with Aaron and Jamie Ivey - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/marriage-and-mental-health-with-aaron-jamie-ivey/
- Episode 83: Sexuality and Shame with Dan Allender - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/sexuality-and-shame-with-dan-allender/
- Episode 82: How to Lament with Mark Vroegop - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/how-to-lament-with-mark-vroegop/
Are you liking this series? Have thoughts about this episode? Email us at lk@lauriekrieg.com.
Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Follow Laurie on Instagram for more ministry updates! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/?hl=en

Episode 24 Take Two: Is There Hope for Us? with Matt and Laurie Krieg

Welcome to the first episode of our Take Two series!
It was so hard to choose episodes to highlight over the past four (FOUR?!) seasons, but we’ve narrowed it down to a few that we’ll show you over the next several weeks.
This episode discusses Chapter 5 of Francis and Lisa Chan’s book, *You and Me Forever*, as well as some of the good and hard of Matt and Laurie’s own story!
Get ready for a good one guys, we’re excited to revisit this!
I Do the Next Thing I
You can check out *You and Me Forever* by
Francis and Lisa Chan at this link! https://www.youandmeforever.org
Hear more of Laurie and Matt’s story in *An Impossible Marriage*. Find the book at this link! https://lauriekrieg.com/product/an-impossible-marriage-what-our-mixed-orientation-marriage-has-taught-us-about-love-and-the-gospel/
You can also check out Laurie’s story on Remnant Radio and the Happy Hour podcasts!
* The Remnant Radio: https://luminarypodcasts.com/listen/the-remnant-radio/the-remnant-radios-podcast/christian-discuss-lgbtq-subjects-with-laurie-krieg/41bf747e-2cec-4218-acd6-860419d9e3b5
* The Happy Hour: https://jamieivey.com/hh363/
Here are a few of the episodes that were “Runner’s Up” for our favorites!
* Episode 111: Can’t We All Just Get Along with David Bennet - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/cant-we-all-just-get-along/
* Episode 167: The Social Garden with Greg Coles - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-social-garden-with-greg-coles/
* Episode 107: Why Male Friendships are Challenging with Sam and Blaine Eldredge - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/why-male-friendships-are-challenging/
* Episode 152: Are Women Responsible for Male Lust? with Rachel Joy Welcher - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/are-women-responsible-for-male-lust-with-rachel-joy-welcher/
* Episode 96: Healthy Community (& Touch) As a Single Person with Meg Baatz - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/healthy-community-and-touch-as-a-single-person/
* Episode 157: Gen Z’s Sex, Marriage, and Singleness Questions with Sean McDowell - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/gen-zs-sex-marriage-and-singleness-questions-with-sean-mcdowell/
Do you need “a friend in the trenches”? Sign up for a coaching session with Laurie here! https://lauriekrieg.com/product/one-coaching-session-with-laurie/
Also, have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com

Episode 178: Season 4 Wrap with Matt, Laurie, and Steve

Even though picking favorite episodes from this season is like choosing a favorite child, we snagged your top listened-to ones from this season (and some of our most memorable conversations), and reflected on clips from them. 
Here are the episodes we cover:
“Caring for People Wrestling with Gender” with Mark Yarhouse
“Shredding Shame in a Pandemic” with Dr. Curt Thompson
“Defining Stress and Success” with John Mark Comer
“Start Where You Are” with Rashawn Copeland
“Intro to the Gardens’ Series Part 2” with Matt and Laurie
“Marriage and Mental Health” with Aaron and Jamie Ivey
We also get honest about how we feel about how this season went, and we look ahead to the summer and fall (SEASON FIVE!)
Thanks for being a part of what made this season really sweet. There is no reason to do this thing without you.
// Highlights:
“We’re trying to be proactive, to make the Church a place where it’s safe to wrestle with things, and one of the primary ways we can do that is to really stop worshipping at the feet of marriage and start worshipping at the feet of Jesus.” -Laurie Krieg
// Do the Next Thing:
Are you interested in any LGBT+/sexuality/Church oneness trainings we do? Email Michele at events@lauriekrieg.com

Episode 177: How Can We Engage “Love is Love” and Other Arguments?

We think this episode might be worth listening to more than once.
It’s that good and that important…especially this month (Pride Month).
Author and teacher, Rebecca McLaughlin, takes some of the real-life theological conversations many of us are having right now and helps us to respond with grace and truth.
She explores these questions and more:
How can we respond kindly and truthfully when people say to us, “Love is love! Why can’t you just love people!”?
What can we say when people tell us that holding to a historical biblical view of marriage is intrinsically harmful (ie. It encourages suicidal behavior)?
What if people point at slavery being acceptable in the Bible, “And it was wrong about that, so it must be wrong about ‘homosexuality’”?
What if friends also say, “How can you prevent people from loving who they want to love?”
We’re going to go there, friends. We need to—with grace, love, and truth.
// Do the Next Thing: 
Find all of Rebecca’s books here.
Follow us and what we are up to here.

Episode 176: How to Make Friends with Your Loneliness with Dr. Kelly Flanagan

“I used to think I was the only one who was lonely. After all, when you look around, other people don’t look lonely. They just look like they are drinking a latte.” —Dr. Kelly Flanagan
Goodness, this quote from Dr. Kelly Flanagan’s new book, "True Companions: A Book for Everyone About the Relationships That See Us Through," gripped us.
If loneliness is that deep-seated reality that you have corners of your heart that only you and Jesus understand, aren’t we all lonely? And isn’t it time we admit it?  Dr. Kelly Flanagan thinks it’s not only time to admit our lonely realities but to befriend loneliness.
After talking with him and reading his book, we are convinced we should do the same.
Okay…but as we/before we do this, we have a few questions:
What is the difference between loneliness and isolation?
How much are our friends/family/the Church responsible for alleviating isolation and how much is on us to process with Jesus?
Why is befriending this loneliness journey better than avoiding with Netflix and wine?
Pull up your own loneliness to the table and listen in to what we found to be a beautiful, de-isolating, honest conversation.
 
// Highlights:
“A lot of us think of lonely as a feeling that goes along with a certain set of conditions. But when I’m talking about loneliness, I’m talking about it as a fact, like a fact of our humanness.” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan
“[T]o love companionably, to love with the love that we call phileo...is to come alongside, to enter into the life, to say, ‘I’m gonna walk along with you in this.’” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan
“We have to cultivate the capacity to create spaces of non-doing.” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan
“A thousand hearts [on Instagram] leaves us feeling isolated....We need to be attentive to populating our lives with people who we are working together [with] to see each other and understand each other as well as we can.” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan
// Do the Next Thing:
Go get Dr. Kelly’s books, True Companions and Lovable!
Looking for someone to walk through stuff with you? Check out coaching with Laurie!
Follow Laurie on Instagram for updates on what’s going on next!