Hole in My Heart Podcast

Episode 198: I am Befriended with Sheridan Voysey

What is it about adult friendships that can make them so hard to cultivate?
People move, change, or we simply lose touch. What is the secret of friendship making (and keeping)? (Is there one?)
Author and founder of The Friendship Lab, Sheridan Voysey, is back on the podcast today to help us unpack these questions as well as:
Why is friendship often overlooked?
Is it true that 1 out of 4 adults in the Western world has no close friends? —What are the four characteristics of a true friend?
How does knowing we are befriended relate to our identity in Christ? You’re welcome to pull up a seat at the friendly podcast table!
//Highlights:
“We have a huge friendship crisis going on in the Western world right now. Here in the United Kingdom, somewhere between 20 to 25 percent of all British adults…have no close friends. And, 1 in 10 people…have no friends at all. That’s roughly echoed in America…with 30 to 40 percent of [American] people over the age of 35 being chronically lonely… Around 1 in 4 people in Australia have no close friends. So, we have this 25 percent rate floating around the Western world, and 10 percent have no friends at all. I really felt God saying, ‘What if you were to focus on that figure, and bringing it down? What would that take?’ And I thought, ‘My goodness, a book would not scratch that itch.’” —Sheridan Voysey
“This whole stigma around loneliness, stigma around friendlessness—everybody in the world (even if they simply go and move houses) will find themselves lonely for a time and need to make new friends. So, we all go through this, and we need to de-stigmatize it.” —Sheridan Voysey
//Question of the Week:
In what outfit would artist draw your cartoon character? (Because you wear it so often?)
//Do the Next Thing:
Watch the video here
Listen to Sheridan’s last episode with us about wrestling through infertility and other life disappointments here
Learn more about Sheridan’s Friendship Lab
Read Sheridan’s work here
Sheridan mentions the book, 'Theology of Play' by Jurgen Moltmann

Episode 197: I am Known with Joan Rozeboom

Humanity’s desire to “be known” starts somewhere deep in the soul.
However, when some of us experience being known, it can be such a jarring experience that we move toward a couple of options: Stoicism (“I’m good without that deep knowing…that’s too uncomfortable…”) or addiction/consumption (“I need that feeling more!”).
What’s the proper response to being known by God and others? With friend of the podcast, Joan Rozeboom, we cover this topic as well as:
How does Joan, a single foster mom, feel known by God and others?
What parts of us need to be known and what need to be “put to death” as Paul says in Colossians 3:3-10)?
How can single people and married people truly know each other like Jesus prays for us to know one another in John 17:21)? Join us?
//Highlights:
“God, I don’t understand how this can be your best for me but you promised you will withhold no good thing from me. So, I am going to reject the lie that God is withholding something good, and I am going to believe that God has a great purpose in this. And I am going to rest in Him even if I never see the good or the purpose this side of eternity.’” —Joan Rozeboom
“The reality is you are left out as a single person a lot--I don’t want to downplay that at all. But when my perspective changed to: How can I serve? Who can I invite in? How can I go up to someone who is new and invite them instead of standing there and saying, ‘Why is no one welcoming me?’ When that perspective changed, that changed everything for me in my interactions in the church.” —Joan Rozeboom
“When we understand how truly known and fully loved by God we really are? We don’t *need* to find these things in other places. It’s nice if someone else knows me, but I don’t *need it* from them because I *have it* from God.” —Joan Rozeboom
//Question of the Week:
Are you a finder or a loser? (Your listener stories are hilarious!)
//Do the Next Thing:
Watch this episode here 
Hit us up with your questions/comments at podcast@lauriekrieg.com
Here are some sample Identity Statements you’re welcome to steal and adapt for yourself!
I am loved by God (Jer. 31:3, Mark 5:41)
I am made on purpose (Eph. 2:10)
I am healing for _________  (Matt. 28:19)
I am learning to love all of the parts of me (1 Jn. 4:19-20)
I am made perfect because of the cross alone (Heb. 10:14)
I am valuable, and proof of my value is in my existence (Ps. 139:16-17)
I am about the process not perfection (John 21:15-17)
I am redeemed (1 Cor. 6:17)
I am safe in God’s hands (Matt. 10:28)
I am known by God; He knows my health, my mind, my emotions everything— when no one else does, not even me (Ps. 139:13-18)
I am learning to do all to the glory of God (Col. 3:17)
I am forgiven (Rom. 5:8)
I am nurtured by God; he cares for my every need (Luke 12:6-7)
I am loved by a God who is for me (Romans 8:31-34)
I am learning to reparent myself with God (1 John 3:1)
I am worthy of care because I am imago Dei (Gen. 1:27)
I am capable because of His strength in me (Galatians 2:20, 2 Cor. 12:8-9)
I am running my own race therefore I never need to envy (Psalm 23, 37, Matthew 6)
I am chosen. (Eph. 1:4)
I am loved by a God who is in control of all things (Eph. 1:21)
I am foolish to put any confidence in my human effort. All I can do is boast about what Christ Jesus has done for me. (Phil. 3:3, 7-11)

Episode 196: I am Redeemed with Branson Parler

Today, we continue our identity series by exploring our deep-rooted need to know we are redeemed.
Why? How?
We ask these questions and more of our guest, theologian and author, Branson Parler. We also explore…
What if we feel we are too far gone to be redeemed?
How does suffering play into this conversation?
How does all of this help us walk with friends who wrestle with gender?
//Highlights:
“In last couple of years, God said to me, ‘Are you anchored in who I am or in who you are? Will you walk away from your job as a tenured professor of theology at a college to do this new thing I am calling you to that is going to serve the church? … Will you let go of this and walk into any room confident because you are a child of God?’” —Dr. Branson Parler
“A key myth in our world is that we can resolve suffering. ‘There are ways we can *now* get rid of all that.’ Unfortunately, a lot of churches perpetuated this notion: ‘If you just prayed this way you wouldn’t have dysphoria or have this sense that there is no alignment!’ … When I look at the body of Jesus, it is a suffering body. It is a body that goes through cross and resurrection. … [However] I can’t say that to somebody who is wrestling with questions of gender identity if I have not myself asked, ‘How is Jesus calling me to take up my cross?’” —Dr. Branson Parler
//Question of the Week:
What is one joke you don’t forget? (Branson has some real cringe ones for us!)
//Do the Next Thing:
Find Branson’s ministry here
Read Branson's book here
We reference Branson’s other episodes with us.
Find “How to Talk with the Kids” here
Find “The Problems with Polyamory” here
We reference the conversation with Pete Scazerro, too. Find “How to Be Emotionally Healthy” here
We reference Embodied by Preston Sprinkle. Find it here
Watch the episode here

Episode 195: Identity Series Intro // I am Loved by God with Laurie, Matt, and Steve

If you take away how people perceive you and how you perform tasks, what is left of you?
Today on the podcast, we are launching a series on identity with the goal to help us know who we are “in Christ” so deeply that we can walk into any room with confidence.
Join us today as we talk about the origin of this series as well as:
What comes to mind when you think of yourself?
Why did engaging the sexuality conversation attack Laurie’s identity so deeply?
What are some of our “templates” or defaults of how we perceive ourselves, and how can we shift them if they are unhealthy and/or sinful?
//Highlights:
“I’ve been doing this conversation for nearly a decade now, and I’m going to be one to push the brakes and not the gas when it comes to anxiety over this thing…. [But] I sense the enemy is trying to attack who we are—our identity. He’s been doing that since Adam and Eve, but there is something extra right now. And instead of roll over and say, ‘Whatever!’  Let’s engage it with grace and truth and courage.” —Laurie Krieg
“I was driving down the Beltline and I was weeping. ‘Okay, try to stay together, I’m driving! I need to be able to see the road.’ I was weeping the whole time, because it was like God saying ‘Don’t you worry my child, I will hold you.’” —Matt Krieg

“If you guys use Microsoft Word [you may know] you can do File—>New—>From Template….  ‘Oh, there is my old template.’ Seeing myself as a shell as a person who is only good for giving to others and doesn’t have worth in and of herself… I can wake up every day and say, “File—>New—>From Template: Worthless. File—>New—>From Template: You have to perform your to get value (or be perfect). What are your templates?” —Laurie Krieg
//Question of the Week:
What do you always say in your "about me" after "I am a child of God, etc..." Or what WOULD you say if you were brave enough. “I am…”
//Do the Next Thing:
Watch this episode here
Let us know what you think of the episode or ask us anything by emailing: podcast@lauriekrieg.com
Continue the conversation by joining the HIMH Podcast Facebook group here

Episode 194: Let’s Define Some Things with Laurie, Matt, and Steve

Whenever we hear people talking about some of the topics we engage in (sexuality, marriage, addiction, sin, repentance, trauma, etc.), we hyper-tune our ears for what they believe and how they hold to what they believe.
If you’re curious about our views, this is the episode for you!
Today, we answer:
What is our philosophy of approaching the LGBTQIA conversation?
Why do we start the sexuality conversation with talking about the purpose of our lives?
Why do we usually use “LGBTQIA” and not “same-sex attracted”? (But we are willing to use either?)
How do we view inborn sin vs. internal, created-order goodness?
How might we encourage you to respond when someone tells you “I am gay?”
//Highlights:
“We need to submit all of these identities to Christ. Whether that is our sexual identity (heterosexual, not straight, LGBTQIA, etc.), or being a mom, or being a white evangelical in America. Am I submitting all of my identities to Christ and letting him sift out the garbage because there is garbage in all of it?” —Laurie Krieg
“If you go into a hyper-conservative situation and you say, ‘I am gay,’ they might be picturing the most extreme stereotype they have that might be very inaccurate to the way you live your life. Vice versa, if you go into a more liberal community or within the LGBTQIA community and you say, ‘I’m same sex attracted,’ that might be a trigger for them to think, ‘Oh, this is an ex-gay narrative, and they think I need to be straight in order to be saved’ (and that’s not what you mean). Therefore, changing the words that you use based on the context helps you to be more understood.” —Matt Krieg
//Question of the Week:
What is your favorite or least favorite word?
//Do the Next Thing:
To watch this episode visit here
We mention this episode with Michael Card: 
We talk about this episode on shame
Request to join us at the HIMH FB page here
Email us your questions or thoughts at podcast@lauriekrieg.com
We mention Core Needs. Here is that list:
Affirmed: Overwhelmingly approved of (Ps. 118:6, 2 Cor. 1:21-22)
Desired: Specially chosen—no pretense necessary (Is. 41:0, John 15:16)
Included: Wanted in this group, team, or partnership; I belong (Is. 43:1, Eph. 2:19)
Loved: Unconditionally accepted (Jer. 31:3, Rom. 8:39)
Nurtured: Cared for; held (Is. 40:28, Matt. 23:37)
Purposed: Filled with a sense of profoundly mattering (Ps. 57:2, Rom. 8:28)
Rested: Re-centered and reset in mind, body, spirit; includes having fun (Ex. 23:12, Ps. 127:2)
Delighted In: Seen as unique and special (Ps. 139:14, 1 Cor. 12:27)
Protected: Unafraid; trusting everything is under control (Prov. 18:10, Matt. 10:28)
Noticed: Seen inside and out (Gen. 16:13, Ps. 139:7-8)
 

Episode 193: Who Wants to Hear Our Stories? with Laurie, Matt, and Steve

We do! Who is Steve? Who is Laurie? Who is Matt? 
Today, we are going to get to know the people behind the microphones. 
Steve shares his story of depression, feeling inauthentic, and finding hope in Jesus in the midst of addiction. Matt offers his journey of depression and subsequent porn addiction in marriage. Laurie shares how she learned to trust Matt again after his deception and addiction, as well as shares her own story of wrestling with attractions to the same sex throughout her entire life.
As always, the team shows the gritty reality and beautiful glory of following Jesus in real life.
**Content/Trigger Warning:  Laurie shares a brief and not graphic reference to her sexual molestation when she was 11.
//Question of the Week:
How would you finish the following… “Nothing gets geriatric [insert your generation] going like… [insert something your generation loves like Coldplay, Polly Pockets, hair bands, or something else that your generation loves!]”
//Highlights:
“God did answer the prayer, but … I was like, ‘It needs to look like this. It needs to happen like this… where I don’t get in trouble. Where I don’t get exposed--and I can maintain my image.’” —Steve O’Dell
“Because of what we have been going through with Laurie’s health stuff, I am completely powerless. That is is hard for me. I want to escape… [but] God is helping me not to disconnect. “ —Matt Krieg
“Steve, I so relate (and to Matt, you too!) to that double life. We so want our churches to be these authentic places, but we are not great at knowing how to work with mess.”—Laurie Krieg
//Do the Next Thing:
Watch a video version of the episode here
For all of the podcast episodes, visit www.Lauriekrieg.com/podcast
We reference the Broken/Beloved Pastors series, and you can find the first episode in that series here

Episode 192: Why ”Hole in My Heart”? with Laurie, Matt & Steve

You guysssss!!!!!
After over a year off of the air, the Hole in My Heart Podcast is back!!!
We are back and we got a shiny new studio and some awesome new friends who are producing this thing.
Through a new partnership with West Michigan’s 91.3 WCSG, the Hole in My Heart Podcast has the opportunity to reach more people with the truth that the gospel is good news for *everyone* every day. (!!)
Today, Laurie, Matt, and Steve get behind the microphones (and cameras!) to re-acclimate long time listeners and welcome new ones.
We do this by:
Playing Two Truths and a Lie with each other (Can you guess the right answer?)
Talk about how the gospel has *still* been good news for us in the last year 
Offer how the podcast began, how we connected to WCSG, and why we named it “Hole in My Heart” anyway…?
Engage a conversation about sin, neediness, and why we run to things we don’t truly want or need
Share what we are looking forward to in the new season of HIMH!! (Eek!)
//Highlights:
“Whether or not I get healed (I don’t know), I do know eternal [victory] is guaranteed.” —Laurie Krieg
“Often times, we can look at our needs and think they are character flaws or deficiencies when in actuality they are created order.”—Matt Krieg
“I am excited about integrating. I think God has been working on me a lot on integrating—on becoming a real, whole person.”—Steve O’Dell
//Do the Next Thing:
Watch the episode here
We mention: Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?
We mention The Marriage Series
Want to connect? Email us at podcast@lauriekrieg.com or find a community with other listeners on the HIMH Facebook group here

Episode 191: What Comes Next? with Matt, Laurie, and Steve

Well, dear family, we have an announcement.
What is it? First, let's hang out for a while, and talk about...
How did that "word for the year" go for you?
In light of that reality, how has the gospel been uniquely good news for you this year?
What is coming next for the podcast and our ministry in 2022?
We'd love for you to sit at the podcast table one more time with us. :)
 
//Highlights:
"If you are listening and you feel this frenetic burden to go and save the world, Jesus already did that. Abide in Him, walk in Him, and He will show you how to have your doing come from your being." -Laurie Krieg
“[Let’s] not just be like, ‘Well, that’s just Christianity, isn’t it? It’s suffering.’ …No, that’s not why Jesus came, so that we have to suffer and hate everything. There’s this good desire in us for this shalom and this peace. And if you want that, that’s a good desire.” -Laurie Krieg
//Do the Next Thing:
Want to send a note about how this podcast has affected you? Rate and review it, or email us at podcast@lauriekrieg.com.
We also mention these episodes—check ‘em out!
Practically Living Life in the Presence of God with Ken Boa here
How to Not Give Up with Christine Caine here
The First Episode of Season 5 here
Join our Facebook group here!
If you need a fresh look at Scripture, the CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more here

Episode 190: First Steps After Discovering They Cheated with Johnny & Amanda McKenna

The ugly truth has just come out:
One spouse has just confessed to unfaithfulness and the other is reeling in shock.
Where do we go from here?
Is there hope for a marriage in crisis?
Does Jesus have something to say to this place?
We are thrilled to bring back our friends Johnny and Amanda McKenna, who have been in this place and walked through—with Jesus’ help—to the other side.
Give it a listen?
// Highlights:
“Pray the prayer that was prayed over me, which is a super scary prayer to pray…but that prayer of ‘Whatever needs to come into the light, come into the light.’ Days before my confession, I was told that that prayer was being prayed over me.” --Johnny McKenna
“I ... have to trust that God’s gonna be there … when everything does come out and the pieces are ready to be put back together and God can begin His restoration work.” --Johnny McKenna
// Do the Next Thing:
Missed our first conversation with Johnny and Amanda? Check it out here!
Looking for community with other podcast listeners? Join our Facebook group!
If you need a new look at Scripture, the CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.
We would love it if you would rate the podcast for us, on any of your favorite listening platforms!

Episode 189: The Church Wasn’t Always So Bad at the LGBTQ Conversation with Greg Johnson

Did you know that CS Lewis’ lifelong best friend was gay?
Did you know that Francis Schaeffer was against orientation-change pursuit for gay people?
Did you know that Billy Graham was a compassionate defender of gay people who fell into sexual sin?
Did you know that John Stott encouraged the church to “repent of the crippling ‘homophobia’… which has coloured the attitudes toward homosexual people of too many of us, and call our fellow Christians to similar repentance”?
You guys…the church wasn’t always so terrible at the LGBTQ conversation, praise God.
Pastor and author Greg Johnson helped us understand this truth as he unpacked the church’s history, but he also shined light on some of the more dark shadows of our past and current state as he shared his own journey as a celibate pastor who experiences attractions to the same sex.
This is not an episode to miss…
// Highlight:
“[John] Stott said, ‘If the Church can’t be family for gay people, if they can’t be known and loved and understood within the Church, then the Church needs to quit calling itself the family of God.’” -Greg Johnson
// Do the Next Thing:
Want to hear more from Greg? Go get his book!
You can also check him out on Christianity Today!
Looking for community with other podcast listeners? Join our Facebook group!
If you need a new look at Scripture, the CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.