Hole in My Heart Podcast

Episode 205: How to Move Forward Without Ignoring Your Past with Christine Caine

Moving forward can feel terrifying: Like we are jumping out of an airplane and we don’t know if we have a parachute. Why does it feel that way? 
Today, author, multi-ministry founder, and teacher, Christine Caine, joins us to answer this question as well as: 
What happened to us in Covid that made us extra afraid of moving forward?
Why is moving forward not automatically betraying or ignoring our pasts?
How do we know when it’s time to move on? 
What if we feel we have to do penance for past sin? How can we move on from that?
How does cancel culture play a role in this?
//Highlights:
“Fixating on your past with a desire to go back is very different than facing your past in order to move forward.” --Christine Caine
“The blood of Jesus does not give us amnesia, but it does give us a life beyond our past.” --Christine Caine
“Trust what you know about God more than what you don’t know about the future.” --Christine Caine
//Question of the Week:
What are you dumb at? ;) (This was one of our best questions so far IMHO lololol)
//Do the Next Thing:
Get Christine’s book here
Listen to our previous episode together, “How Not to Give Up,” here
Learn more about Propel + Wheaton Master’s here
Join our HIMH Pod FB Group here

Episode 204: How to Share Your Story with Brenna Blain

Today on the podcast, ministry leader Brenna Blain joins us to help us discern how, when, and where to share our own stories with others.
Together, we unpack:
How do you know when you are ready to share?
What was Brenna’s most challenging audience to share with?
What are the benefits and challenges to opening up?
//Highlights:
“The question I have not always gone to but I need to go to is, ‘Why? Why do I feel I need to share this or want to share this? Is it because I want attention?’… Or is it that I truly feel like God is asking me to share this, and then I need to work out what parts of this story am I supposed to share and in what context?” —Brenna Blain
“It’s a little bit cliché, but [one of the biggest benefits for me in sharing my story] is getting to be the voice I wish I had heard growing up. I wish so badly I had heard from someone who was same-sex attracted who clung to a biblical sexual ethic. I wish it so badly.” —Brenna Blain
“Sometimes, I just need to sit and say, ‘Do I believe that God knows what he is doing? Do I believe that he is faithful even if his faithfulness means keeping a door closed to me?’” —Brenna Blain
//Question of the Week:
Are you a pumpkin-spice-everything, can’t-wait-to-put-on-a-sweater person about fall? Or nah? (You guys have a lot of feelings about pumpkin spice and sweaters lolol)
//Do the Next Thing:
Listen to when Laurie was on Brenna’s podcast here
Follow Brenna on IG here
Steve mentions this episode where we talk about our hunger for authentic community here
Watch the video of this episode here

Episode 203: Who Are You? with Andrew Bunt

It’s the season seven launch!!
We are so glad to be back with you all, and are equally glad to engage last season’s identity theme one more time to ensure we take it from the ethereal to the practical. The person here to help us do this is the author of ‘Finding Your Best Identity’ and ministry leader, Andrew Bunt.
Andrew joins the team today to talk about:
How can we know which parts of us are the true us, and which are not?
Is sexual identity and gender identity core to who we are?
How can we engage the world’s mantra of “Listen to your heart” to know who you are?
How can we engage the world’s other mantra of “Let others define who you are”?
//Highlights:
“Questions of sexuality and gender . . . have become so tied to identity in the cultural context around us that when people hear--that out of faithfulness to Jesus--I am choosing not to have a relationship with another man, people say, ‘Well, isn’t God asking you to deny who you really are?’ It’s seen as so core to identity . . . it’s considered bad news for somebody like me.” —Andrew Bunt
“We are who God says we are. This actually frees us from defining ourselves by what we feel inside or defining ourselves based on the opinions of others.” —Andrew Bunt
“I define identity as ‘our controlling self understanding.’” —Andrew Bunt
“My sexuality describes me. I am attracted to other guys. I am same-sex attracted, gay, whatever language you want to use. I am not denying that. I am not ashamed of that. . . . But that describes part of my experience. It doesn’t define me. What defines me is that I have been adopted by God as his child.” —Andrew Bunt
//Question of the Week:
What was (or is) your favorite school supply? (You guys sure love some Lisa Frank! Lol)
//Do the Next Thing:
Find Andrew’s book here
Join the HIMH Podcast FB Group here
You can watch the episode here

HIMH Shorts: Grief and Lament with Steve

“I think there are reasons we deny our pain including that we can are overwhelmed (‘Where do I start?’), the fear of ‘This will make things worse”… Or, we don’t have he community around us to help us process.” --Steve O'Dell
Today, as only the Holy Spirit can do, these first three Shorts episodes link together. So today, we continue our accidental theme of "Spiritual practices that help us to become real" with Steve talking about why we avoid pain.
Additionally, we talk about:
How can we become people who can walk with others in challenging places?
What is the cost of not engaging these painful places?
What is the first step toward feeling these hard parts of our hearts?
We also talk about these lament episodes here
And talk about Healing Care
Join us?

HIMH Shorts: Emotional Resilience with Matt

“One thing I have learned about Jesus is that He wants to sit in uncomfortable emotions with me [Heb. 4:15]. If I am not willing to sit in these emotions, then how is He supposed to sit in them--with me?” --Matt Krieg
Oh, dear, wise Matt. Today on HIMH Shorts (where we toss around the host table, “How has the gospel been good news for you lately?), Matt brings up his topic of emotional resilience…
What is it?
How can we know when it’s time to move on from a negative emotion?
How can we know if we need to stay in the suffering longer?
We’d love for you to join the conversation.
And after? Feel free to tell us what you think on the FB group here
On IG here
Or email us! podcast@lauriekrieg.com

HIMH Shorts: The Bookcases with Laurie

Heyyyyy!!!
We may be in-between seasons, but we missed you all so much we wanted to drop three, surprise mini-episodes for the next three Fridays!!
In HIMH Shorts, Matt, Laurie, and Steve will host brief (heh heh, we will try!), one-topic conversations answering, "How has the gospel been good news for you lately?"
This week, Laurie is up! She heard YOUR requests for a walk-through of her Episode 202 practice of The Bookshelves.
What is that practice?
Why does she do it?
How has it impacted her? (And does Matt do it, too? lol)
Kick back, lay back (if you want to do the practice with us), and join the crew as Laurie shares her nightly practice that has been deepening her identity in the love of Jesus.
P.S. Do you like these mini-episodes? Should we keep them up?
Let us know by messaging Laurie on IG (laurie_krieg) or emailing us at podcast@lauriekrieg.com

Episode 202: Season 6 Wrap and Q & A Part 2 with Laurie, Matt, and Steve

Today, we wrap up season six by asking Matt, Laurie, and Steve if we have met our goal for the season: “Do you feel like you can walk into any room confidently because your identity is more rooted in Christ?”
So, have we? :D
We truthfully answer this question as well as:
What we do when we feel tempted toward sexual sin or with wanting to buy everything in Pottery Barn?
How is Laurie’s health? Has it changed?
How do we engage with believers who are clearly “producing fruit,” but are choosing to walk outside of God’s design for marriage?
//Highlights:
“When it comes to relational conflict, the message I often tell myself is, ‘Resolution is the goal.’ I am learning that transformation is the goal. The issue may not be resolved (or easily resolved), but I am called to stay present in it when all I want to do is make it go away.” —Steve O’Dell
“To have someone who is my friend love me in the midst of wrestling with sexual temptation removes a layer of shame, and makes me feel like, ‘Okay. I’m actually normal. I just want idols instead of God like everyone else.’”—Laurie Krieg
“As much as we look at other people’s hearts, we have to first look at our own.” —Matt Krieg
//Question of the Week:
We want to hear from you all!
Drop a review or let us know what you think of the podcast this season by emailing podcast@lauriekrieg.com or joining the HIMH Podcast FB group!
(Search it, answer a couple of questions, and you will be in!)
//Do the Next Thing:
We mention this episode with Branson Parler
We mention this episode with Alison Cook
And this episode with Toni Collier
We also talk about our episode with David Bennett here
To join the podcast conversation, find us here
Watch the episode on Youtube here
Thanks for a great season!

Episode 201: Q & A: Kids, Libraries, and the Pros & Cons of Coming Out with Laurie, Matt, and Steve

The lines are open, friends, and we are taking your questions today! What questions?
How do you recommend talking with young kids about LGBTQ things/the definition of marriage?
Should marriage make us happy or holy? (Or is that the wrong question to ask?)
What qualifies as abuse in a relationship? (How does it compare to misuse of a person?)
How should we engage with libraries where they prominently display books that are LGBTQIA-affirming (of transitioning or same-sex relationships)?
What are the pros and cons of coming out/sharing your story? Pull up a chair, and join the dialogue!
//Highlights:
“Matt and my philosophy of parenting is: Here is reality. How can we dole that out in gentle, slow, repetitive conversations at varying levels of age-appropriateness so that when they encounter [same-sex relationships or wrestling with gender] in their schools, churches, or in themselves they are not caught off guard and hide, nor are they caught off guard and jump to Love is Love.” —Laurie Krieg
“My definition of abuse is that it is a systemic maltreatment or dismissal of the dignity of another person verbally, physically, or emotionally.”—Matt Krieg
“You know and I know that everywhere you go there are people … who still make gay jokes a decent amount. If it’s not gay jokes, then it’s ‘*Gasp*! Oh, it’s June! The flag, and the Pride!’ And you’re sitting there, and even though you have zero rainbow flags, you’re not going to Pride, and you’re wrestling with your own heart, you don’t feel safe sharing with them now because they are so exasperated about people like you.”—Laurie Krieg
//Question of the Week:
Where would you like to visit that you have not been? (Thanks for joining the conversation!)
//Do the Next Thing:
A blog Laurie wrote about how to come out/share your story here
Want to share feedback about the season with the hosts?
Email us: podcast@lauriekrieg.com
Or, find Laurie on Instagram here
Watch the podcast here

Episode 200: ”I am Healing for...” with Toni Collier

Oh, man…from start to finish this conversation sings…!
Author and ministry leader, Toni Collier, helps us to finish the final “I am” in our identity series by exploring “I am healing for…”
What we mean by this is when you’re going through a dark time, have you ever considered the people you will impact if you keep going through the darkness to the light?
What if you gave up? Whom would that affect?
Although we never want to have the core of our healing work be for other people (ideally, that motivation is for God and for ourselves), others are valuable to consider as they can energize our healing journey.
What else do we talk about?
How did a performance-driven heart drive Toni when she wasn’t following the Lord and when she was?
What might Toni say to someone really wrestling with depression today?
How did Toni start caring more about what Jesus thinks than others?
//Highlights:
“The thing that brought me out of my depression and suicidal ideation was people who said, ‘We will be with you in the valleys, but we won’t leave you there.’” —Toni Collier
“Ya know? I just don’t think I care what anyone else thinks but God. I don’t know what happened, something clicked… If I just solely care what He thinks, then through that lens I should treat others with kindness and respect and honor and show up.” —Toni Collier
“When I was able to start saying ‘No’ to people that’s when my ‘Yes’ to Jesus became bigger, more consistent, and more clear.”—Toni Collier
//Question of the Week:
Are you a hot box or a cold box or just right? (Do you run hot, cold, or just right? You guys had a lot of opinions about menopause on this one lol)
//Do the Next Thing:
Find all of Toni’s work here
Snag the video here
Catch all of WCSG’s work here
Hear our last episode with Toni and her husband, Sam here

Episode 199: I am Worthy of Care with Alison Cook

Today, we talk codependence (over-reliance on people for our sense of stability), counter-dependence (under-reliance on people), and interdependence (healthy dependence on people) on the podcast, and the conversation does not disappoint.
Psychologist and author, Dr. Alison Cook, leads us biblically through questions about codependence as well as:
Is it right or wrong to put others first?
How can we be both worthy of care yet also “conceived in sin” (Ps. 51:5)
How can we trust again after being burned by others?
How does all of this relate to our identity?
Pull up an earbud, friends. This is a great one.
//Highlights
“If I had a word for pastors, I would say: Don’t assume that folks are coming in with a healthy relationship with the self before we ask them to die to it.” —Alison Cook
“We change in the context of care and compassion verses in the context of condemnation and judgement and criticism. That’s just what’s true psychologically… ‘God’s kindness is what leads us to repentance.’ (Rom. 2:4).” —Alison Cook
“In a healthy home there is that balance of, ‘You are so important, you matter, you are worthy, I am here for you, my dear child. And, as a part of that, I want to equip you to go out among other people and from that place of knowing how valuable you are, shine that light of value onto others.’ That’s a very different thing than, ‘Put others first! You don’t matter. It’s more about them!’ That’s not actually true. It’s because I know I matter, and I have experienced what it feels like to matter to God I can come into your life and shine some of that onto you—that you matter just like I matter.”—Alison Cook
“Learning how to trust again after one has been wounded? … ‘I was hurt in the past, I don’t ever want to depend on somebody again.’ To me that’s a cue that we need to repair something in the self. ‘What cues did I ignore? It’s not my fault and there his no shame in that, but I did ignore some cues…How will I do that differently next time?’ … Oh, that’s hard when you have been burned.”—Alison Cook
//Question of the Week:
What healthy food makes you feel sad when you eat it? (Ya'll are funny.)
//Do the Next Thing:
Watch the podcast here
Hear Alison with us the last time she was on the podcast talking about how to deal with overwhelming thoughts and emotions here  
Find Alison’s latest book along with all of her work here