Hole in My Heart Podcast

Episode 34: How We Heal with the Crew

Eh, boy. Here we go again! Getting vulnerable.
​As a follow-up to the now infamous (and most listened-to) Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?, Matt and I [Laurie] give an update on our marriage's healing journey.
We get really real. We pray you are only blessed by it.
We also talk men's and women's ministries/conferences/retreats and the gifts and drawbacks of them, and I do a HILARIOUS round of Mom Jokes regarding cold weather. (I'm begging you to laugh.)
 
//: Highlight:
"The problem for me was I knew when we got married ... it was not this erotic, hormone-driven sexual desire. That was not there in the beginning. So what I rested my laurels on (and maybe made an idol of), was this friendship with you [Matt]. 'Well, at least if we can have this friendship with you, that can lead to sexual intimacy...' Nope. Gone. And when that was taken away what was left was this patched together, barely-tolerant-of-each-other marriage ... and God." - Laurie Krieg
 
//: Question of the Week:
What questions do you have for Dr. Preston Sprinkle? (He is next week's guest.) Sexuality, gender, non-violence, hell, or home church? What do you got?
Comment, email, or hit us up somewhere and we might throw them at him!
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
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Episode 33: Sexual Discipleship with Dr. Juli Slattery

Who comes to your mind when you think about mentors or disciple-makers? Who comes to mind when you think about sexual discipleship? Anybody?
Whether or not we realize it, we are discipled by the world. We learn the significance of sex, its importance (or lack thereof), and how to approach it by the world. We need another way.
Our friend and co-laborer in the Kingdom, Dr. Juli Slattery, author, speaker, and podcaster walks us through a beautiful start of this conversation and some highlights in her fantastic new book, Rethinking Sexuality.
We are real, we are gospel-focused, but because we can't ever keep things too serious, we talk about ridiculous but important-to-us things: How the gateway drug to alcohol is Mountain Dew (you know we are right), clean mullets, singing the Circle of Life at the top of your lungs, Morning Ninja Steve, and what if everything you ate tasted like bananas? It's a fun game of "Would you Rather," and a deep talk with our friend Dr. Juli Slattery.
 
//: Highlight:
"The [disciple-maker] grit doesn't come from this view of, 'I have so much to offer somebody else.' It comes from, 'I have encountered God in such a powerful way that I am just a leaky vessel that I want the Lord to pour through.'"
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
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Episode 32: Guiding Families with Bill Henson

Friends: If you haven't ever listened to our podcast, start here!
We have a special guest, Bill Henson, who is a spirit-filled well of wisdom.
If you are a parent of an LGBT+ child, a Christian leader who wants to be more inclusive (while still holding to a historically Christian view), identify as LGBT+, or simply care about LGBT+ people, this one is for you.
In addition to talking about walking with LGBT+ friends and family, we also talk about the first time we learned we were missionaries, how we listen to music (in the car? at home? at church?), and about an upcoming joint-retreat HIMH is hosting with Bill and Lead Them Home.
Don't miss this one!
 
//: Highlights:
“I shouldn’t have to say it, but I will say it: No one has to give you permission to love your child.”
“Why is it a threat to the church for us to include people who have a different experience in life than we have? When we know that without them being included and encountering God’s Word and being able to praise God, they might not actually be able to experience being born again the way we have?”
 
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Episode 31: How to Talk with the Kids with Branson Parler

It sends terror through all parents: How do we talk with the kids about sexuality?
Yikes. How do we?
We bring our first returning guest, Dr. Branson Parler, Professor of Theological Studies at Kuyper College, and Director of Faith Formation at Fourth Reformed Church in Grand Rapids, MI, to talk about it with us. In addition to his theological cred, he brings real-life walking with his five kids, ages 9, 7, 5, 3, and 1. ​
What we share here is important ground work, and (I hope) specific next steps.
We also talk about how to talk about Jesus with kids in general, and our favorite childhood snacks. (Oh yeah, there was that one time I thought I invented the quesadilla. Like, for real I thought that.) Also, we talk Kool Aid Man. Oh, yeah.
 
//: Highlights:
“[We need] to have the theological basis as God as the source of love and God as the source of life. From those, that’s going to provide the backdrop for thinking about God’s intention for marriage, God’s intentions for sex, and children (where do babies come from?). To be able to couch this in a rich theological setting is going to help us engage our kids to move from that to say, ‘This is who God is, and this is one way that we image God.'”
“I want my child to be a follower of Jesus, not cisgender or heterosexual as an ultimate identity.”
 
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Episode 30: Women Struggle with Lust, Too with Amy Riordan

If women make up 1 out of every 3 visits to pornographic sites, if 17% of women consider themselves addicted to porn, and if half of women in a recent German sex study admit to watching porn, why don't we talk about it? Why are there so few resources?
We talk about it with Amy Riordan, author, speaker, and writer for Covenant Eyes. Additionally, we explore the questions:
If we are a woman who wrestles with pornography or lust in general, how can we get the shame-free help we need?
If we are a friend of a woman wrestling with lust, how can we come alongside our friends?
 
//: Highlights:
"To me, intimacy meant sex. I didn't realize there was a difference between the two. That started this whole thing with God showing me what I was really craving and wanting was intimacy--not sex.'"
 
 //: Do the Next Thing:
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Episode 29: It Takes a Village with Ray Low

Youth leaders, this one is for you.
We talk with our guest and New York City youth pastor, Ray Low, about his journey with sexuality and how his youth pastor walked with him well.
We also talk a lot about what it is like to be a double minority as an Asian American and a sexual minority. This was an important conversation we were honored to have.
 
//: Highlights:
"[At church] I saw a different kind of community that had a different kind of purpose. That's when the gospel started to make sense to me: when I started to see a community that extended beyond Sunday."
"[My youth pastor] would treat people like people. He would treat people like he had this calling to form a faith identity in each and every one of us. That looked like giving us that space to wrestle."
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
You can find Ray on Facebook and Twitter
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Episode 28: A New Voice with Nate Collins

We laughed a lot on this one.
We cracked up, and went to deep heart places with Nate Collins, special guest, author, and president and founder of the Revoice Conference. We chatted about starstruck moments (who almost got taken down by Francis Chan's security team, hmmm, LAURIE?!), vulnerability, and giving the historically Christian LGBT+ conversation a new voice.
 
//: Highlights:
"The way the gospel is good news for me now," Nate said, "is by living transparently. When that requires vulnerability, then being vulnerable. I've experienced so much grace in being known. And shame in being not known. [I was] put in the shadows, or ran to the shadows myself because I was afraid of transparency or vulnerability."
 
//:  Do the Next Thing:
Find out about the Revoice Conference here
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Episode 27: What’s Really Best for the Kids? (Part 6 of ”You and Me Forever” book series)

So...shocker: Parenting is hard. Also, life is hard. Today, we follow up with the brutally honest "Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?" as well as discuss how we, as bleeding-heart parents, can be on mission (to make disciples) with our kids without hurting their hearts...
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Laurie's post: The Day I Became Wonder Woman
Psychology Today: 10 Reasons Why Today's Teenagers Are So Anxious
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Episode 26: Marriage: What Is It Good For? with Branson Parler

We have another guest!
Dr. Branson Parler! To go with his movie star name and phD, Branson is FULL OF WISDOM! This was one of those conversations where Producer Steve, Matt, and I looked at each other while recording with our jaws dropped.
​He answered a lot of questions we had about the relationship between sexuality, married people, single people, and the Church.
 
//: Highlights:
"Paul can say, 'Stay single,' ...because the church is functioning as a family."
"Our bodies matter. Matter matters... The way God communicates his love to us is not just through this intellectual message that bounces off of us, the Word became flesh."
"Whether people are married or single, what everyone needs is a healing of our broken sexuality. It's not that marriage is this proper outlet for our lust. It is that lust needs to be killed across the board."
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Branson's Blog
A super helpful (and well-liked) catechism he wrote on sexuality
Branson on The Center for Faith, Sexuality & Gender
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Episode 25: Friends in Low Places with Tammy Perlmattur

How can you be a helpful friend to someone in pain? How can you be a helpful person in pain to your friends? How does co-dependency relate to this? We talk about it on the podcast with a guest, Tammy Perlmattur!
Tammy Perlmutter is founder and curator of The Mudroom, a collaborative blog encouraging women to speak truth, love hard, and enter in with each other, and co-founder of Deeply Rooted, a biannual worship, arts, and teaching gathering for women in Chicago. Tammy is a member of Redbud Writers Guild, an urban beekeeper, and lives in an intentional Christian community in Chicago.
We also talk lent, awkward clothes we used to wear (victorian lace boots? mullets? chopsticks in your hair?), favorite foods growing up (a whole loaf of bread on the table?), and women/friendship and same-sex attraction. ​
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Tammy wrote about her journey with her sexuality here on her Mudroom Blog site.
You can also find her here:
The Mudroom
Deeply Rooted
Facebook
Twitter
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