Hole in My Heart Podcast

Episode 68: The Need for Nurture with Anna Carter and Shannon Ochoa

{Week 1 Core Need is the need to be nurtured: Cared for; held.}
It's time to dive deeply into Core Needs. What are they? They are good needs God put into us for things like belonging, purpose, affirmation, and to be seen and desired. The Fall threw a wrench in our once-natural ability to get them perfectly met by God and supported by people, however, and now we have natural inclinations to get these good needs met in ways that don't satisfy us and don't glorify God. (That natural inclination is known as our sin nature.) Our default is now idolatry.
Eden Invitation co-founders, Anna Carter and Shannon Ochoa, launch our 10-week series on Core Needs by talking about the need for nurture. These ministry leaders guide us beautifully through wrestling with how we see nurture develop throughout our life, and how we can look to our friends to support this nurture need without slipping into co-dependence.
We also talk tattoos, donuts, and "getting in the freaking car" for a worship sesh.
Join us on a journey of the soul.
 
//: Highlights:
"One of my continual lessons is spiritual childhood: As we age, nurture looks differently. But I am always a child of my heavenly Father." --Anna Carter
“At the end of the day it’s an invitation: To love and be loved . . . There’s not a sense of dependence or your friends completing you, but we must be comfortable in naming it: 'In order for me to lean into the Lord more easily, I want to invite you to walk with me.’” --Shannon Ochoa
“By confessing to another person my own need, my own vulnerability, and my own woundedness, I am providing them with an opportunity to help me live the Christian life. I am providing them an opportunity to be a disciples—to imitate Jesus.”--Anna Carter
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Take a look at Anna and Shannon's Eden Invitation website here and some of their favorite resources here!
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Episode 67: Holy Sexuality and the Gospel with Christopher Yuan

Author, speaker, and professor, Dr. Christopher Yuan, brings his authentic self and expertise to the podcast microphone today.
In addition to hearing his story, we explore our favorite names of God (with you listeners), expand on the reasons why it is beneficial to the church that there are more conversations around sexuality and gender in the world, and explore the questions,
"Is God gender fluid?"
"Why don't you identify as gay?" 
and "How do you confront the lonely life?"
It's another real life conversation on the HIMH Podcast.
 
//: Highlights:
"We talk about the world having safe spaces. I wonder: Should not the church be the safest place in the world? Are we safe? I think we have a lot of ways to grow and learn. But, we don't just want to be safe. We want to be safe and redemptive." --Christopher Yuan
"I looked and I studied for friendship [in the Bible], and I didn't find much, unfortunately . . . David and Jonathan are never called friends once. But they are called brothers."--Christopher Yuan
"We really need to begin living as the church. As family. Yes, we have our blood relatives, but honestly? That is temporary. Marriage is temporary. The only true eternal relationship that we will carry on to heaven are those bound by the blood of Christ." --Christopher Yuan
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Get his latest book, Holy Sexuality and the Gospel
Follow on Twitter and Facebook
Check out Dr. Christopher Yuan's website
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Episode 66: 7 Essential Failures of a Faithful Life with Chad Bird

Failure makes you feel like . . . a failure. Should it? Should we celebrate some failures instead?
Today we talk to Chad Bird, speaker, podcaster, and author of Upside-Down Spirituality: The 9 Essential Failures of a Faithful Life.
We will cover seven of those nine "essential failures." Three of which are:
1. The failure to believe in ourselves or, "The good news that God doesn’t believe in you"
2. The failure to follow our hearts or "Go home heart, you’re drunk"
3. The failure to find our soulmate or "Love will not sustain your marriage"
We also continue a bit of the shame talk (hearing from you listeners!), and play a Bible trivia game utilizing Matt Krieg's Bible trivia book from the 90s and the minds of all the nerds on the podcast.
Chad is real and really helpful. You're welcome to join us at the table.
 
//: Highlights:
"God is a beatitude kind of God. He calls something 'blessed' that the world would often call 'cursed.'" --Chad Bird
"Its no wonder if the kids wonder if God hates them, because a lot of what we experience in life make us feel like there is somebody above us, and we are on his hit list . . . The more we can focus God's love for us and everything that entails, that's really what the kids and the adults need to hear over and over." --Chad Bird
"The more time we spend being formed but the Jerusalem of the church, the safer we will be in the Babylon of the world."--Chad Bird
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Follow Chad on Twitter and Facebook
Read his book, Upside-Down Spirituality: The 9 Essential Failures of a Christian Life
Check out his great website
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Episode 65: Exploring Our Souls of Shame Part 2 with Curt Thompson

"I think I am afraid of being in *God’s* presence. The thing is I am afraid to be in *my* presence. I am afraid to look at and have God see me as I see me . . . I am sure that when I look up again He will have left the rom. And shockingly, He does not." --Curt Thompson, M.D.
Let's dive right back into the shame conversation with Dr. Curt Thompson, and explore how shame began and how we can practically combat it.
 
//: Highlights:
"God—even in His pursuit—He is not going to shame us. He is not going to twist my arm. He is not going to shame me for not having my shame cleaned up well enough. He is going to relentlessly pursue me."—Curt Thompson
"The healing of shame is not just a way for us to not longer feel bad about ourselves. It’s a way to re-commission us to do the work of goodness and beauty that God has had for us since before the creation of the world." —Curt Thompson
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Read Curt's book here
Check out his organization here
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Episode 64: Exploring our Souls of Shame Part 1 with Curt Thompson

Shame affects all of us--even if we don't know how to name it. It often drapes us in a vague feeling of being covered in a wet blanket. It speaks, "I am worth less. I must hide. There is something wrong with me."
How can we address it neurologically, spiritually, and practically? We brought in the big guns to answer all three shame categories today: Dr. Curt Thompson, MD, author of one of our favorite books, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves.
This and next week's conversation are not ones to miss. They impacted us all deeply.
 
//: Highlights:
"The gospel--if it is good news--does not begin with 'I am more sinful than I believe.' It begins, in fact, with 'I am more loved than I can imagine.' It is in that space of being loved incessantly, relentlessly, that we become aware just how sinful we are." --Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D. ​
"It is not difficult for us to register [shame] in catastrophic events (bullying, sexual and physical abuse, or some kind of public humiliation). The thing is, as far as our real life is concerned, the vast majority of how these [shame] events actually occur is in the privacy of our own minds. It is the dozens of times when we say to ourselves 'I should have done this. I should have done that. I'm not good enough at this. I'm not good enough at that.' . . . It's these micro-moments that turn into a death of a thousand cuts." --Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D.
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Read Curt's book here
Check out his organization here
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Episode 63.5: Merry Christmas/New Year! with the Crew

Peek between the cracks of the podcast to hear updates on our words for the year ("Do you feel like God gave you that word?"), look forward to our words for 2019, and hear us encourage each other unplanned.
As we reflect on this year of pain and growth, we may even shed a couple tears between our laughs. (Of course we do. :) ) We love you, guys. Thanks for being a major joyful part of our year.

Episode 63: Jump Starting Spiritual Disciplines with Sharon Garlough Brown

It's almost the new year, and many of us are thinking about doing something to jumpstart positive choices next year. But what about today?
Sharon Garlough Brown, author of the Sensible Shoes series, walks (ha) us through the basics and depth of spiritual disciplines. We cover things like, "Are spiritual disciplines for the hyper-spiritual, Enneagram 4, flower children?" "Does lament have to be so depressing?" and "What can we do today--what one step can we take?"
We also play a pretty hilarious game of "Finish that Christmas Carol." We'd love for you to join us.
 
//: Highlights:
"That’s what lament is: It’s crawling up into the lap of God, saying the hard things, and knowing that God holds us in those things.” --Sharon Garlough Brown
"A spiritual discipline is a grace discipline. I don’t have the power to make myself more like Jesus, but I can practice things that will help me be more attentive . . . and responsive to His call.” --Sharon Garlough Brown
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
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Episode 62: Let’s Admit it: We’re All Addicts with Gregory Jantz

At HIMH we sometimes call ourselves "gospel addicts," but what is an addict? Author, psychologist, and addiction expert, Dr. Gregory Jantz, breaks down some of the attributes and questions we may have for ourselves or our friends on how to take steps away from the following addictions: ​
Alcohol
Food (eating too much or little)
Work
Sex/pornography
Relationships
TV/Netflix
Social Media
Because we can't help ourselves, we dive into the Die Hard debate (Christmas movie or nah?), and play a game called, "Top Toy or Misfit?" (Players have to guess which toy is a top seller this year, and which one was dubbed a danger.)
Come play and learn with us.
 
//: Highlights:
"A relapse handled properly is all about recovery--because we are learning from it." --Dr. Gregory Jantz
"[We must look in the] mirror and say, 'If I keep doing this, what is going to happen to me? What is going to happen to those I love?" --Dr. Gregory Jantz
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Learn more about Dr. Gregory Jantz here
Find his book, Healing the Scars of Addiction, here
Take the CAGE questionnaire here
Follow on Twitter 
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Episode 61: Keeping the Kids Safe with Justin and Lindsey Holcomb

Fruit of knowing the Good News is believing that God loves kids.
He cares about their souls, he cares about their spirits, and he cares about their bodies.
That is the focus of this episode: How can we protect our children, our nieces and nephews, and our friends' kids from childhood sexual abuse? How can we do it in a way that is not "shamey"?
We explore it today with experts and authors of the important kids' book, 'God Made All of Me,' Justin and Lindsey Holcomb. (We also play a silly "Is this a Hallmark Movie or a Shmallmark Movie" game, and it turns out they are experts there, too.)
 
//: Highlights:
"We need to start talking young because 1 out of 5 kids will be victims of childhood sexual abuse before their 18th birthday."--Justin Holcomb
"[If you talk about body protection with kids] it builds a trust so that if something happens, if they are exposed to something . . . they are going know, 'Mom and Dad know about this. They talked to me about this. They are safe and understand this.'" --Lindsey Holcomb
"We are all about swimming safety, bicycle safety, wearing your helmet, getting in your your car seat, and wearing your seat belt. Add this to that: This is body safety. This is prevention and awareness. Lump it into that category, and feel empowered in your role as their advocate." --Lindsey Holcomb
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Get the book here
Visit their website here
Follow on Justin and Lindsey on Twitter
Check them out on Facebook
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Episode 60: Walking Well as Pastors, Parents, and Therapists with Mark Yarhouse

Let's take it back to the basics and then broaden to the more complex: What does LGBTQIA mean (and why doesn't the term "homosexuals" cover it)? Where can parents take their mix of emotions when their kid comes out? Is there even a right and wrong when it comes to the gender conversation?
We are tackling some big and basic questions related to pastors, parents, and therapists today, and who better to navigate with us than Christian expert in the field, Dr. Mark Yarhouse?
Mark is Professor of Psychology at Regent University in Virginia Beach, and has published over 80 peer-reviewed journal articles and very helpful books in including, Understanding Sexual Identity: A Resource for Youth Ministers and Understanding Gender Dysphoria: Navigating Transgender Issues in a Changing Culture.
Ready? Let's go.
 
//: Highlights:
​"What happens in ministries and what happens in families is we overreact to what's above the surface . . . rather than minister to what's beneath." ---Dr. Mark Yarhouse
"A lot of times youth ministers will say, 'It's not my experience, so how can I be a trail guide?' You don't have to be Bear Grylls, you just need to be familiar with the trail. You just have to have walked the trail with other people . . . and to read up on it." --Dr. Mark Yarhouse
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Find some of Dr. Yarhouse's Center for Faith articles on gender here
Two of Dr. Yarhouse's books we found very helpful are Understanding Sexual Identity: A Resource for Youth Ministers and Understanding Gender Dysphoria: Navigating Transgender Issues in a Changing Culture. 
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