Hole in My Heart Podcast

Episode 224: Why We Need to Look Back to Move Forward | Lisa-Jo Baker

If you have ever struggled to process your story (and who hasn’t??), this episode is for you.
Author, teacher, and child-of-a-one-time angry father, Lisa Jo Baker, takes us by the hand and guides us to take the tiniest look back so we can move forward into healing.
| Main Themes |
Why do we avoid going back into our stories?
Why do we need to? (Do we need to?)
How can you write a book about the most painful places in our lives?
What if those we love don’t want to or can’t reconcile?
| Highlights | 
“A thought dropped into my head, ‘You need to speak about what it was like to be the child of an angry parent.’” 
“By the time I finished writing the chapter, I would feel this profound sense of, ‘Oh, He did it again!’ Jesus went back, picked apart these terrible places in my life, and brought healing.”
“If you take anything from my story, it’s this: it wasn’t me, I didn’t do it. It wasn’t my dad. He didn’t do it. It was Jesus and his grace and mercy he orchestrated the entire thing simply because I was willing to look.”
| About the Guest |
With a BA in English/prelaw from Gordon College and a JD from the University of Notre Dame Law School, Lisa-Jo has lived and worked on three continents in the human rights field and subsequently spent nearly a decade leading the online community of women called (in)courage as their editor in chief and community manager. She’s the co-host of the Out of the Ordinary podcast. Originally from South Africa, Lisa-Jo now lives just outside Washington, D.C., where she met and fell in love with her husband in the summer of ’96. Their story together spans decades, languages, countries, books, three very opinionated children, and one dog, and is written in Lisa-Jo’s latest book, It Wasn’t Roaring, It Was Weeping.
| Next Steps |
Lisa’s book
Her IG
Her site
Thanks to O’Neill Asset Management!
Join the HIMH Podcast FB Page!
 

Episode 223: Protecting Our Kids in This Wild World | with Julia Sadusky

If you’re a parent or mentor of young kids right now like we are, I am pretty sure you could marinate in fear every day of the week. 
Add the fact that it is up to us parents and mentors to teach these kids facts and wisdom about sexuality and body safety, and you can just find us in a panic attack on the floor every-other day of the week.
But what if we didn’t have to? What if we could learn how to wisely lead them in the midst of this wild world?
Today, psychologist and author Julia Sadusky helps us to do just that. Together we discuss:
• Why is avoiding conversations about bodies and sex lead to a lack of safety for our kids?
• What is the difference between sharing sexualized content with kids and talking about sexuality with kids?
• How do we non-anxiously but wisely engage body-exploration that kids naturally do?
• What are family rules and why might I consider having them? 
• What if we already feel like we failed as parents and mentors of young kids? How can we recover missed years?
| Highlights |
“What is beautiful about parenthood is you get to be this imperfect representation to the world and to your kids of what we do when we fall short of the glory of God.” —Julia Sadusky
“You will either be the first to have the sexuality conversations or the last.” —Julia Sadusky
“What we know from know from research on childhood sexual abuse that the number one thing that protects children and makes it less likely for them to experience sexual abuse in childhood is for them to know the accurate terminology of their private parts. When I learned that it blew my mind and it made me think to myself: If we could get all Christians on the same page that we are going to do this, sexual abuse in childhood in our generations can go down markedly.” —Julia Sadusky
“Young people are naturally curious about everything… We want to scaffold and support that learning. But without guidance from the primary people in their corner, young people will go elsewhere.” —Julia Sadusky
| QOTW |
Are you an ice or no-ice person? And what shape does it need to take? (Square, round, or perhaps Death Star shaped??)
| Do the Next Thing |
Julia’s book, Start Talking to Your Kids About Sex 
Julia’s IG: instagram.com/drjuliasadusky
Julia’s site: juliasadusky.com
Join the HIMH FB group here
Follow Laurie (where she is talking about things like this often) here: instagram.com/laurie_krieg
Email us your questions here
Watch the episode here 

Episode 222: Q & A with the Kriegs | Therapy, Burnout, and Your LGBTQ Q’s

It’s that time again: Let’s take your questions and try to respond with wisdom!
Here are the ones we respond to today!
How do you know when or if you need to move on from a therapist?
How can we walk with people experiencing unwanted sexual desires?
How do I recover my soul from burnout?
How do I talk with my kids about a family member who is transitioning?
How do I know if a temptation is spiritual attack or fruit from my sinful nature?
| Highlights |
“Our kids do not have to be fed rage and othering in order to cultivate a heart that is both passionate for truth and grieves over sin.” —Laurie Krieg
“If you are working harder than those you are caring for—that is a recipe for burnout.” —Matt Krieg
“People who transition from male to female are never going to actually be a woman. But can we know that, and maybe even say that, but can we speak it from a heart that is tender and compassionate while empathetically thinking, ‘Man, doesn’t it stink that idols don’t work?’”—Laurie Krieg
| Do the Next Thing |
We mention Journey Well here or here
We talk about Jay Stringer’s book Unwanted here
Join the HIMH FB group here
Follow Laurie (where she is talking about things like this often) here
Email us your questions or to find out more about sponsorship here
Watch the episode here 

Episode 221: Two Approaches to Pride | Part 2 with Elizabeth Delgado Black

Today, we conclude our two-part series looking at strategies to intentionally and evangelistically approach Pride Month. 
To continue the conversation, we talk with Elizabeth Delgado Black who is an evangelist and the co-founder and president of Kaleidoscope. Together, we talk about practical ways to love LGBTQ people like Jesus as well as: 
Can we talk a little bit about language? Why use LGBTQ language at all?
How do LGBTQ people in New York City seem to view Christians generally? Why?
How does Elizabeth’s nonprofit seek to love LGBTQ people into the Kingdom of God?
What contextual ways does she care for her community?
What fruit is she seeing from what she and her team do?
| Highlights |
“You don't have to invent something on your own. Some of the most powerful work that we do is with other organizations because they do not expect that a Christian is going to want anything to do with them.” —Elizabeth Delgado Black
“I’m doing missional work, but people are not a mission.” —Elizabeth Delgado Black
“How can we share the good news of Christ if we see certain people as completely other and unworthy? Then whatever we share is no longer good news.” —Elizabeth Delgado Black
 
| QOTW |
What is your most *you* music? (Ya’ll are too funny…)
 
| Do the Next Thing |
Find out about Kaleidoscope here
Follow them on IG here
Join the HIMH FB group here
Find Laurie and Matt on IG here
Email us here
Watch the video here

Episode 220: Two Approaches to Pride | Part 1 with Stephen Nylen

Some Christians write off June’s Pride festivals as Sodom and Gomorrah. They don’t think anyone there could possibly want God.
Are we so sure about that?
At least two ministries in the U.S. are regularly going to Pride festivals in their areas, and they are seeing people come to know Jesus because of their presence, preaching, and practical love of neighbor.
This week, we interview a street evangelist who has been going to Grand Rapids, Michigan’s Pride Festival for the last five years. We ask:
Why does he go?
What heart does he have when he goes?
What pushback does he receive?
What fruit does he see from his going?
What can we learn from his work?
You’re not going to want to miss these episodes.
| Highlights |
“We are either open and affirming or we are openly condemning, but in the middle ground is the gospel.” —Stephen Nylen
“They will not know if I do not go. So I have to go. But if you’re going to preach and your feet aren’t beautiful (Westboro Baptist, legalists, moralists, open and affirming, or openly condemning) then you’re not preaching the right gospel.” —Stephen Nylen
“If you’re a firefighter and you see a fire, then your calling is to go. And so I go.” —Stephen Nylen
| QOTW |
What do you always need instructions for? (Making rice, Mac and cheese, or using a lawnmower?)
 
| Do the Next Thing |
Find everything about Stephen’s work here
Or on his FB here
Or here
His minidoc on the ministry here
And his two-minute gospel presentation here
Join the HIMH FB group here
Follow Laurie on IG here
Email us with thoughts or questions at podcast@lauriekrieg.com
Watch the episode here

Episode 219: Treasures in the Dark with Katherine Wolf

When we are going through suffering, we don’t usually think, “Hmm, what treasures might God have for me to discover here?”
It just feels like suffering.
However, author and major stroke survivor, Katherine Wolf, has a message for us: God has gems for us to find in the darkness. “If you have to go through hardship, why not get the treasure? My goodness, don’t waste the pain,” she says.
What else do we talk about?
What exactly are these “treasures” anyway?
How should we respond to our friends’ immediate suffering?
What if we are in a major depressive season? Is there hope for us? 
What if we don’t think our struggles are worth even naming as “suffering”? 
What steps can we take in the midst of a hard season to find hope?
// Highlights:
“Before we can ever accept the circumstances of our life, we have to go through the process of grieving the life we thought we should have had.” --Katherine Wolf
“The gift we can give one another as the body of Christ is to sprint toward one another’s pain and suffering.” --Katherine Wolf
“We need to remember that we are called and assigned to our stories.” --Katherine Wolf
“What saved my life was the logic of it all: If I should have died, I would have died. I did not die, therefore God has purpose in my being in this body and on this planet in this moment.” --Katherine Wolf
“We need less people telling you what to think in the pain and more just being with you in the pain.” --Katherine Wolf
// Question of the Week:
What two random things are in your junk drawer right now? 
 
// Do the Next Thing:
Katherine’s amazing new devotional/reflection book? Find it here
Follow Katherine on IG here
Join the HIMH FB group here
Follow Laurie on IG here
Email us with thoughts or questions at podcast@lauriekrieg.com
Watch it here
 

Episode 218: How Not to Be Discouraged in a Discouraging Year with Derwin Gray

“Hope in the gospel and discouragement are not mutually exclusive,” Pastor Derwin Gray encouraged us on today’s episode. 
But, how is that possible? The world can feel so defeating:
Politics, racial division, pastor scandals, congregant sin, and the drudgery of faithfully trying to do this thing called advancing the Kingdom of God wherever we are called can overwhelm anyone. How can we both experience grief, discouragement, or mourning, and allow it to propel us further into the heart of God?
Author and pastor of one of the fastest growing churches in America, Derwin Gray, preaches exactly the answer and exactly what weary souls needed to hear today.
 
// Highlights:
 
“When I find my heart becoming cynical I know that I have stepped out of grace and into self righteousness.” —Derwin Gray
“I’m finding encouragement because that tomb in Jerusalem is still empty.” —Derwin Gray
“We need more local pastors not teaching moralism, sin management, left-leaning secular ideologies or Pharisaical rightism. We need them to preach the gospel-centered, beautiful, bloody resurrection power of Jesus.” —Derwin Gray
 
// QOTW:
 
What is your favorite sign of spring?
 
// Do the Next Thing:
 
Watch the video here!
Find all of Derwin’s work here
Join the HIMH Podcast here
Keep up with Laurie and the HIMH Podcast on IG here

Episode 217: What Trees Can Teach Us About Living with Joy Marie Clarkson

This is a very gentle but powerful episode. 
Since having the conversation, I (Laurie) can’t stop seeing the people-as-trees metaphor everywhere.
How? You’re just going to have to listen to find out. :)  
// Highlights:
“We all have the seasons in life. We can’t expect the same things of ourselves in every single season. When we don’t experience seasons that are fruitful or blooming, it doesn’t mean that something is wrong with us, it can just mean we are in a different season.” —Joy Marie Clarkson
“You can’t have buds and the blooms [on a tree] without ... the old leaves dying.” —Joy Marie Clarkson
“I had cleared the land of my life of all the things that seemed ‘pointless’ … In doing that, I made the field of my life infertile and barren. ” —Joy Marie Clarkson
// Question of the Week:
What do you accidentally buy too much of at the grocery store? (You have grocery-nesia?)
 
// Do the Next Thing:
Find Joy on IG here
On Twitter here
On FB here
On her Substack here
Her podcast here
Join the conversation at the HIMH FB Pod Page here!
Watch the episode here

Episode 216: From Christian Cult to Christ Follower with Christy Lynne Wood

Christy grew up in a hyper-legalistic system that added rigid rules to the gospel of Jesus. 
(You might have seen glimpses of it if you watched the documentary, ‘Shiny Happy People.’)
Even after leaving, Christy internally battled the legalism that attached itself to her knowledge of the real Jesus. How did she break free—not only physically, but mentally and spiritually?
We also explore:
What is the difference between authority and authoritarianism?
How can you tell if you’re in a legalistic system?
Why would someone be drawn to such a structure?
How can we break free from either a direct cult like Christy experienced, or simple (but unbiblical) legalism?
// Highlights:
“Legalism and behavior-driven stuff (feeling like you have to perform for God) holds on tight. Even after getting out [of the cult] and going to college (I was wearing pants, I had shorter hair, and I looked way more normal than I used to look), I was still very much stuck in this idea that God didn’t like me if I wasn’t performing correctly.” —Christy Lynne Wood
“The most damaging part of this cult was the idea of who God was: He was angry, he wanted certain behaviors and activities, and he was going to judge you and condemn you if you didn’t follow these rules and behaviors.” —Christy Lynne Wood
“God wants us to be reconciled to the real Jesus, not to some fake god who is crushing us under his thumb… And, He wants this more than we do.” —Christy Lynne Wood
// Question of the Week:
Do you have grocery-nesia? Do you go to the store and think you *definitely* need something, but get home only to discover you already have four? We want to hear about it.
 
// Do the Next Thing:
Watch the episode here!
You can read Christy’s blog and more here
You can find Christy’s book, Religious Rebels, here
We talk about understanding the genre, etc. of the Bible. This book may be a help
Christy mentioned A Matter of Basic Principles book found here
You can find the Diane Langberg book we talked about that explored authority, Redeeming Power, here
Join the HIMH Podcast FB group here

Episode 215: A Testimony of Surrendered Gender with Kyla Gillespie

Oh, wow. This story. 
How does one woman go from a childhood of following Jesus as much as she knows how, to professional hockey, to same-sex relationships, to transitioning to male for six years, to finding the real Jesus, and then to de-transitioning in the midst of a loving church community?
This episode has her story.
Hear a testimony and take part in a conversation on how to walk well with people who wrestle with gender today on the podcast.
 
// Highlights:
“I was crying out to God on the bedroom floor, and I heard him say, ‘Kyla. Return to me.’ And I was like, ‘What do you mean, return to you? Can’t I follow you and be Brycen?’ I heard him very clearly say to me, ‘No.’ I was weeping: ‘I don’t know what this looks like. Can I ever be female again?’ And he said to me, ‘Do you trust me and are you willing?’ And I cried out in that moment, ‘Yes!’” --Kyla Gillespie
“Do we think we are powerful enough in ourselves to change and will somebody to love Jesus? Or do we believe in the power of the Holy Spirit who saves and changes people? That’s what [the people who discipled me] did. They called me to this gospel, but they loved me in the mess.” --Kyla Gillespie
“It’s always different when we have face-to-face relationships. Suddenly all those things we did and said on the internet turn into, ‘Oh, maybe that wasn’t so kind or so nice or so gentle. Maybe I didn’t love you the way I’m commanded to love you.’” --Kyla Gillespie
// Question of the Week:
What was your favorite childhood cereal?
// Do the Next Thing:
Find Kyla’s ministry here
Search her on IG here
Join the HIMH Podcast Group here
Watch the episode here