Hole in My Heart Podcast

Episode 71: The Need for Rest with Adam Mabry

{Week 4 Core Need is the need for rest: Re-centered and reset in mind, body, spirit; includes having fun}
Why is it that it seems whoever is the busiest is winning at life? If you are stressed, busy, but magically not anxious, you hold a higher status?
We talk about this with Adam Mabry, whose wife laughed at him when he told her he was asked to write a book on rest. This pastor, teacher, and author of the book, "The Art of Rest: Faith to Hit Pause in a World that Never Stops," was able to write the book after experiencing what it was like to live a life without rest, and watching it lead to total breakdown. We explore this story, practical ways to combat the "I'm better because I'm busier" game, and why being a pastor who exegetes Romans while on a unicorn might be the best way to do church.
;)
 
//: Highlights:
"I broke. I have this vivid memory of it being 1 or 2 in the morning, and I am painting baseboards, crying, cursing, angry, praying mess, and that was the beginning of, 'Hm, I don’t think I can achieve my way out of this.' I hit the dark pretty hard for six or nine months. The practice of rest was acknowledging that there is a God in heaven and a sovereign ruler of the universe, and His name is not my name.” --Adam Mabry
"As an achiever, Jesus achieved par excellence . . . In three years he achieved redemption of the cosmos. In three years I barely got a Master's degree . . . [Jesus] got a lot done and did it more restfully than most of us." --Adam Mabry
"If the Church of Jesus Christ is made up of anxiety-driven, restless people, it doesn’t say a lot about a gospel of grace that is very good." --Adam Mabry
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Check out Adam on his site here
Also, Adam's most recent book can be found on Amazon here
Want to know more about his church? Click here to check it out!
We mention how watching TV doesn't really rest you. An article on that is here.
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Episode 70: The Need to Be Affirmed with Shannon Popkin

{Week 3 Core Need is the need to be affirmed: Overwhelmingly approved of.}
Do you ever wrestle with knowing God wants you to share the gifts He gave you with the world, but not knowing how much you should "market" yourself? Shouldn't the Holy Spirit just do that for us?
We do wrestle with this, so we brought in bestselling author and speaker, Shannon Popkin, who co-wrote the book, Influence: Building a Platform to Elevates Jesus (Not Me).
We explore this conversation in the context of the Core Need to be affirmed. How do we allow God to affirm us while navigating the murky waters of speaking the message He gave us?
Put on your lifejackets because we are going to dive in.
We also play another ridiculous game called "Spin This" (where Steve, Matt, and Shannon have to affirm everyone from Winnie the Pooh to Han Solo). Thanks for playing and hanging with us.
 
//: Highlights:
"There is such a connection between my message and me that it's really hard not to get 'my message' caught up in it being 'all about me.'" --Shannon Popkin
"We are positioned there in this elevated state not so people can say, 'Look at me!' . . . We are positioned there to serve." --Shannon Popkin
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Read Shannon's book here
One of our favorite articles of Shannon's is, "Five Control Girl Mom Tactics to Stop Using"
Check out Shannon on her website!
Follow here on social media: Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram!
[Also, we mention early on about Matt's extreme makeover with Kelli ODell. That episode is here.]
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Episode 69: The Need to Be Desired with Ty and Rachel Wyss

{Week 2 Core Need is the need to be desired: Specially chosen--no pretense necessary.}
The idea of mixed-orientation marriages (where one spouse is straight and the other is not) can make people scratch their heads saying, "How does that work?" Today, through the lens of the Core Need to be desired, mixed-orientation couple, Ty and Rachel Wyss, get real about their marriage, their need to be desired, and leave us--married and single--with wise, God-given wisdom to walk well. This is another sacred story you don't want to miss.
The group also talks how we can express needs without being "needy," Love Languages (with feedback from you all!), and, as always, how the gospel was and is good news.
Thanks for joining us!
 
//: Highlights:
"The need to be desired manifested for me . . . in the desire to be somebody's best friend, somebody's everything, somebody's first choice." --Rachel Wyss
"Wanting my wife or wanting my friends to desire me--it's so easy to attach the word 'needy' to it . . . When I realize I'm feeling shame for a need, I remember God has wired it into me. If He has wired it into me, then I get to start blessing that need." --Ty Wyss
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
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Episode 68: The Need for Nurture with Anna Carter and Shannon Ochoa

{Week 1 Core Need is the need to be nurtured: Cared for; held.}
It's time to dive deeply into Core Needs. What are they? They are good needs God put into us for things like belonging, purpose, affirmation, and to be seen and desired. The Fall threw a wrench in our once-natural ability to get them perfectly met by God and supported by people, however, and now we have natural inclinations to get these good needs met in ways that don't satisfy us and don't glorify God. (That natural inclination is known as our sin nature.) Our default is now idolatry.
Eden Invitation co-founders, Anna Carter and Shannon Ochoa, launch our 10-week series on Core Needs by talking about the need for nurture. These ministry leaders guide us beautifully through wrestling with how we see nurture develop throughout our life, and how we can look to our friends to support this nurture need without slipping into co-dependence.
We also talk tattoos, donuts, and "getting in the freaking car" for a worship sesh.
Join us on a journey of the soul.
 
//: Highlights:
"One of my continual lessons is spiritual childhood: As we age, nurture looks differently. But I am always a child of my heavenly Father." --Anna Carter
“At the end of the day it’s an invitation: To love and be loved . . . There’s not a sense of dependence or your friends completing you, but we must be comfortable in naming it: 'In order for me to lean into the Lord more easily, I want to invite you to walk with me.’” --Shannon Ochoa
“By confessing to another person my own need, my own vulnerability, and my own woundedness, I am providing them with an opportunity to help me live the Christian life. I am providing them an opportunity to be a disciples—to imitate Jesus.”--Anna Carter
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Take a look at Anna and Shannon's Eden Invitation website here and some of their favorite resources here!
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Episode 67: Holy Sexuality and the Gospel with Christopher Yuan

Author, speaker, and professor, Dr. Christopher Yuan, brings his authentic self and expertise to the podcast microphone today.
In addition to hearing his story, we explore our favorite names of God (with you listeners), expand on the reasons why it is beneficial to the church that there are more conversations around sexuality and gender in the world, and explore the questions,
"Is God gender fluid?"
"Why don't you identify as gay?" 
and "How do you confront the lonely life?"
It's another real life conversation on the HIMH Podcast.
 
//: Highlights:
"We talk about the world having safe spaces. I wonder: Should not the church be the safest place in the world? Are we safe? I think we have a lot of ways to grow and learn. But, we don't just want to be safe. We want to be safe and redemptive." --Christopher Yuan
"I looked and I studied for friendship [in the Bible], and I didn't find much, unfortunately . . . David and Jonathan are never called friends once. But they are called brothers."--Christopher Yuan
"We really need to begin living as the church. As family. Yes, we have our blood relatives, but honestly? That is temporary. Marriage is temporary. The only true eternal relationship that we will carry on to heaven are those bound by the blood of Christ." --Christopher Yuan
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Get his latest book, Holy Sexuality and the Gospel
Follow on Twitter and Facebook
Check out Dr. Christopher Yuan's website
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Episode 66: 7 Essential Failures of a Faithful Life with Chad Bird

Failure makes you feel like . . . a failure. Should it? Should we celebrate some failures instead?
Today we talk to Chad Bird, speaker, podcaster, and author of Upside-Down Spirituality: The 9 Essential Failures of a Faithful Life.
We will cover seven of those nine "essential failures." Three of which are:
1. The failure to believe in ourselves or, "The good news that God doesn’t believe in you"
2. The failure to follow our hearts or "Go home heart, you’re drunk"
3. The failure to find our soulmate or "Love will not sustain your marriage"
We also continue a bit of the shame talk (hearing from you listeners!), and play a Bible trivia game utilizing Matt Krieg's Bible trivia book from the 90s and the minds of all the nerds on the podcast.
Chad is real and really helpful. You're welcome to join us at the table.
 
//: Highlights:
"God is a beatitude kind of God. He calls something 'blessed' that the world would often call 'cursed.'" --Chad Bird
"Its no wonder if the kids wonder if God hates them, because a lot of what we experience in life make us feel like there is somebody above us, and we are on his hit list . . . The more we can focus God's love for us and everything that entails, that's really what the kids and the adults need to hear over and over." --Chad Bird
"The more time we spend being formed but the Jerusalem of the church, the safer we will be in the Babylon of the world."--Chad Bird
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Follow Chad on Twitter and Facebook
Read his book, Upside-Down Spirituality: The 9 Essential Failures of a Christian Life
Check out his great website
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Episode 65: Exploring Our Souls of Shame Part 2 with Curt Thompson

"I think I am afraid of being in *God’s* presence. The thing is I am afraid to be in *my* presence. I am afraid to look at and have God see me as I see me . . . I am sure that when I look up again He will have left the rom. And shockingly, He does not." --Curt Thompson, M.D.
Let's dive right back into the shame conversation with Dr. Curt Thompson, and explore how shame began and how we can practically combat it.
 
//: Highlights:
"God—even in His pursuit—He is not going to shame us. He is not going to twist my arm. He is not going to shame me for not having my shame cleaned up well enough. He is going to relentlessly pursue me."—Curt Thompson
"The healing of shame is not just a way for us to not longer feel bad about ourselves. It’s a way to re-commission us to do the work of goodness and beauty that God has had for us since before the creation of the world." —Curt Thompson
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Read Curt's book here
Check out his organization here
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Episode 64: Exploring our Souls of Shame Part 1 with Curt Thompson

Shame affects all of us--even if we don't know how to name it. It often drapes us in a vague feeling of being covered in a wet blanket. It speaks, "I am worth less. I must hide. There is something wrong with me."
How can we address it neurologically, spiritually, and practically? We brought in the big guns to answer all three shame categories today: Dr. Curt Thompson, MD, author of one of our favorite books, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves.
This and next week's conversation are not ones to miss. They impacted us all deeply.
 
//: Highlights:
"The gospel--if it is good news--does not begin with 'I am more sinful than I believe.' It begins, in fact, with 'I am more loved than I can imagine.' It is in that space of being loved incessantly, relentlessly, that we become aware just how sinful we are." --Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D. ​
"It is not difficult for us to register [shame] in catastrophic events (bullying, sexual and physical abuse, or some kind of public humiliation). The thing is, as far as our real life is concerned, the vast majority of how these [shame] events actually occur is in the privacy of our own minds. It is the dozens of times when we say to ourselves 'I should have done this. I should have done that. I'm not good enough at this. I'm not good enough at that.' . . . It's these micro-moments that turn into a death of a thousand cuts." --Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D.
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Read Curt's book here
Check out his organization here
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Episode 63.5: Merry Christmas/New Year! with the Crew

Peek between the cracks of the podcast to hear updates on our words for the year ("Do you feel like God gave you that word?"), look forward to our words for 2019, and hear us encourage each other unplanned.
As we reflect on this year of pain and growth, we may even shed a couple tears between our laughs. (Of course we do. :) ) We love you, guys. Thanks for being a major joyful part of our year.

Episode 63: Jump Starting Spiritual Disciplines with Sharon Garlough Brown

It's almost the new year, and many of us are thinking about doing something to jumpstart positive choices next year. But what about today?
Sharon Garlough Brown, author of the Sensible Shoes series, walks (ha) us through the basics and depth of spiritual disciplines. We cover things like, "Are spiritual disciplines for the hyper-spiritual, Enneagram 4, flower children?" "Does lament have to be so depressing?" and "What can we do today--what one step can we take?"
We also play a pretty hilarious game of "Finish that Christmas Carol." We'd love for you to join us.
 
//: Highlights:
"That’s what lament is: It’s crawling up into the lap of God, saying the hard things, and knowing that God holds us in those things.” --Sharon Garlough Brown
"A spiritual discipline is a grace discipline. I don’t have the power to make myself more like Jesus, but I can practice things that will help me be more attentive . . . and responsive to His call.” --Sharon Garlough Brown
 
//: Do the Next Thing:
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