Hole in My Heart Podcast

Episode 122: The Problems with Polyamory with Dr. Branson Parler

In the circles we run, there is one common answer to the question: What will be the next thing when it comes to sexuality?
Their answer? Polyamorous relationships.
What do you know about them? (Other than that they are a romantic, sexual relationship between three or more people?)
Did you know that 24% of church-going people think that consensual non-monogamous relationships are morally acceptable? Or that as many as 1 in 5 Americans have been in a consensual non-monogamous relationship, and 5% are currently in one? (That’s about as many people who identify as LGBTQ+.)
How can we biblically respond to people exploring polyamorous relationships with outrageous love and winsome truth? Dr. Branson Parler is back to walk us through it.
//: Highlights:
“Start with listening. Start with understanding. Start by asking, ‘What does [polyamory] mean to them’?” —Branson Parler
“If someone says to me, ‘This was allowed in the Old Testament, why can’t it be allowed today?’ I would say, ’It’s because of confusion about what time it is.’ Jesus has come. The new creation has been inaugurated … God regulates and allows a number of things that are a less-than-ideal reality [in the Old Testament]. But when Jesus comes and the Spirit is poured out, you see this new creation reality that connects up with God’s original intention in creation.” —Branson Parler
“What our culture doesn’t believe is that anybody is ever faithful … They see that in relationships, their parents’ marriage … Why even go down that route?  The only solution to that is to stop looking at faithless people and start looking at the faithful Savior. Only that—only looking at our faithful Savior—will give us the ability to truly be faithful to another person.” —Branson Parler
//: Do the Next Thing:
Check out Branson's site here.
Find Branson's pastoral paper on polyamory here. 
Find more resources here. 

Episode 121: Walking with Kids’ Mental Health with Dr. Matthew Stanford

But what about the kids?
**We recorded this episode pre-quarantine, and once again, God provided the content we needed for this unforeseen moment.
I know our own kids (Matt and Laurie's) are wrestling with their emotional balance in this quarantine life.
Are the kids or young adults in your life struggling at all?
Let's help them, yeah? (Whether they are wrestling with anxiety, depression, have been walking a journey on the autism spectrum, or have experienced sexual trauma as kids.)
The person who is going to help us to help them is Dr. Matthew Stanford, CEO of the Hope and Healing Center & Institute in Houston, and adjunct professor of psychiatry at Baylor College of Medicine and the Houston Methodist Hospital Institute for Academic Medicine and author of Grace for the Children.
He's legit qualified. Let's walk with the littles (and teens), friends.
//: Do the Next Thing:
Find Grace for the Children: Finding Hope in the Midst of Child and Adolescent Mental Illness.
His book for adults? Grace for the Afflicted.
Check out Matthew Stanford's organization, The Hope and Healing Center. 
Listen to more episodes for parents here.
Find us on the IG to answer the Question of the Week and more. 

Episode 120: What to Do with Those Overwhelming Thoughts with Alison Cook

This is the therapy sesh we all need right now. 
Counselor, author, and teacher, Dr. Alison Cook, co-author of Boundaries for Your Soul has a word for us about what to do with our overwhelming thoughts and emotions. (Anyone got some of those these days?)
But, what can we do with them? We can turn them into our allies.
"Emotions are not your enemy, they are queues," she said. "Learn about them, pay attention to them, don’t let them rule you, but get to know them. Let them be an aid to you  on your journey to wholeness." 
How do we do that? Alison does a beautiful job of helping us take not just the next right step, but a few down the road to peace.
//: Highlights:
“Awareness ... that’s the hardest step … That’s the very first step.” --Alison Cook
“That’s what we mean about turning your emotions into allies: You can see them as queues to pay attention to as opposed to enemies to fight.” --Alison Cook
“You are more capable than the anxious part of you understands.” --Alison Cook
//: Do the Next Thing:
Find that book Boundaries for Your Soul here. 
Her site? Here. 
Our coaching sessions I mention? Find them here. 
Through the end of April, if you become a supporter of the ministry at $20 or more per month, we will send you a free Journey Well book. Thanks so much!!

Episode 119: OUR WORLD: Good Small Groups Don’t Just Happen with Our For-Real Small Group

Again. God, in His mercy, knew that we would need this episode today when we recorded it over one month ago.
Today, Matt and I (Laurie) introduce you to our for-real small group. These are people who are a huge part of our lives and are truly the reason Matt and I are still married.
In an age where large-group churches cannot meet and small groups are meeting online, this group has become even more of our lifeline. Now, we don't just meet every-other week for a couple of hours hours, we meet online every week, have started a daily online Bible reading together, and are texting and praying for each other frequently. Praise God.
We are so honored to share these precious friends with you.
But, we didn't just win the small group lottery. How did we not just become a group of people who go kinda deep every once in a while, but became each other's family?
Listen in and we will share how you--Lord willing--may be able to replicate the gift God gave us with the people around you. Yes, even online.
//: Do the Next Thing:
Find that HIMH Podcast FB page here.
 My Laurie Krieg author page to join some of our FB Live convos? Find it here. 
More Impossible Marriage Workshop info? Save the date! October 23 and 24! Find out more and to sign up for updates here. 
Are you stressed/anxious and live in MI? Hit Matt up for a free 20-minute consultation to find out if Caring Well Counseling could come alongside you. Find him here. 
Interested in supporting the podcast (and the Kriegs!) in this tough financial season? Partner here.
See a pic of the small group here. 

Episode 118: OUR WORLD: Tough Conversations with Friends with Stephanie Thole

In this home-centered, pandemic-laden world we are in, God, in his kindness, had Matt and I (Laurie) record a mini-series last month where we opened up our real world to you.
Today, we are sharing it. In episode two of three of the "Our World" series, we invited our friend, Stephanie Thole, to help us learn how to have a conversation bridging the gap between sexuality and race conversations.
Are these conversations so similar? Are they so different?
Is it really true that if you are pro- "Black Lives Matter" you also must be pro- "Love is Love"?
Hang out with us and our real-life friends today on the pod, and perhaps learn how to better engage both of these challenging topics with grace, truth, and love.
//: Highlights: “
We were one of the few black families. I remember always being so attracted to all of these white boys. In my mind, I was like, ‘I gotta get rid of this…’ I understood at a very early age that that was not allowed.” —Stephanie Thole
“I was very much aware at how different I was. That I was 'other.'” —Stephanie Thole
“A lot of us have made mistakes, have had hard conversations, have offended the wrong person, and it’s been a painful, awkward experience. Don’t let that stop you. Keep walking.” —Stephanie Thole
//: Do the Next Thing:
Are you stressed/anxious and live in MI? Hit Matt up for a free 20-minute consultation to find out if Caring Well Counseling could come alongside you. Find him here. 
Interested in supporting the podcast (and the Kriegs!) in this tough financial season? Partner here. 
Find more great stuff here.

Episode 117: OUR WORLD: When Discipleship ”Fails” with Kara Martin

As many of us hunker down into our homes, Matt and I (Laurie) open up our real lives to you.
In this "Our World" mini series, will cover the following topics:
1. When I walked with someone for months and it seemed like a failure,
2. The sticky intersection between the race and LGBT+ conversations,
3. How God encouraged us to form a small group that has changed our lives.
Today: When discipleship "fails." I walked away from a discipleship relationship with Kara Martin several years ago feeling hopeful but doubtful. I was hopeful she would follow Jesus, but I wasn't sure I did anything to help her move in that direction.
What happened after we stopped meeting? 
How can God still use us when we feel like we completely failed at walking well with others?
What is a good way to walk alongside someone who is wavering on their path of Christlikeness?
We cover these questions and more today on a challenging but critical conversation straight from "our world."
//: Highlights:
“Walking away enabled me to get my heart in the right place to actually want to figure this out on my own—and not to have Cornerstone or Laurie telling me ‘This is what it should look like.’” --Kara Martin
"I wanted to pursue dating girls. More than that? I wanted to pursue God’s plan for my life… That [latter] motivation was not my own.” --Kara Martin
"You can tell people what you believe all you want, but that’s not what’s going to change their hearts. What’s going to change their hearts is when God gets in there.” --Kara Martin
//: Do the Next Thing:
Connect with Kara, see her favorite resources, and discover more here. 

Episode 116: Maturity Is Not an Option with John Eldredge

This is timely.
In the midst of a global pandemic, one of the stock market's worst weeks, and fear invading many corners of our hearts, bestselling author, John Eldredge, brings a critical message to the podcast table this week.
“Your soul is never meant to carry all of this," he said. "The human soul is not designed for these conditions.”
It isn't. We are not meant to carry the insanity of a broken world. So how do we engage it with maturity?
Learn with us as we talk through a message that literally changed (and is changing) our lives.
//: Highlights:
“The world that we live in gets everybody spun up … emotionally, physically and spiritually. We want relief. The quick relief is to reach for the bag of cookies or the bottle of scotch or binge watch your favorite show. But relief is very different from restoration. When you’re done [with relief] you don’t actually feel any better.” —John Eldredge
“Maturity is not an option because of the gnarly hour that we live in. Union with God—cultivating it as a life goal—is the invitation.” —John Eldredge 
“We have neglected our souls … The rescue for me has been to love Jesus in the midst of my suffering.” --John Eldredge
//: Do the Next Thing:
John's book Get Your Life Back is here.
That Pause App that is wrecking us? Find it here. 
For More? Here.

Episode 115: Enduring Well with Trillia Newbell

"Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us," the writer of Hebrews tells us (Heb. 12:1).
But what does that mean, exactly? Where are we going? To death? To the New Heavens and New Earth? To more suffering?
And how do we run this race without being legalistic about it: Just keep swimming. Just keep going. Just do it. That's what Christians do.
Author and teacher, Trillia Newbell, helps us understand more of this race running in a compelling conversation that we hope will inspire you to take the next right step.
 
//: Highlights: 
“What legalism is is you’re trying to walk the walk--but not because you love Jesus … it’s because you feel that the only way to approach God is to do these [certain] things … This is sometimes why people give up on the Christian faith: Because they are working real hard and life still sinks.” --Trillia Newbell
“Part of the reason we are not gritty is we are trying to do it ourselves, so, we give up.” —Trillia Newbell
“We cannot endure as Christians if we don’t know the One who sustains us.” —Trillia Newbell 
//: Do the Next Thing:
Trillia's book? Here.
Trillia's site? Here.
For More? Here. 

Episode 114: Seeing Friends as Siblings with Rachel Gilson

Yes, yes, yes, we know: We live in a sex-saturated world. Move on, right? 
Maybe. But is there something we can do about it? Do we simply have to endure the brokenness around us and within us, or can we take some Christ-following steps in the right direction?
Our dear friend and newly minted author, Rachel Gilson, thinks we can. Her critical new book, Born Again This Way, not only tells the story of how she came to Christ at Yale through a stolen copy of Mere Christianity, but she unpacks how someone who experiences same-sex attraction can do the stumbly discipleship walk of daily surrender.
One of our favorite pieces of her discipleship walk is how she learned to view our sex-saturated world through the lens of family.
This is an important one, friends--I mean, siblings. 
 
//: Highlights:
“We kind of intuitively sense that a sibling relationship is a special kind of relationship: It has both really deep intimacy but is absolutely not erotic.” --Rachel Gilson
“A lot of time what temptation does is it wants to pull away our focus from, 'God has given me gifts and opportunity to—with His Body—build His kingdom.' Temptation ends up being this big gospel waste.” --Rachel Gilson
“Occasionally, you get this best friend situation where you turn inward like an ingrown toenail ... you end up pairing up in a way that shuts out the broader body. There is something about sibling-hood that reminds us we are a part of a family.” --Rachel Gilson
//: Question of the Week for Next Week:
What is your favorite sport to watch or to play?  (Are they the same or different?)
//: Do the Next Thing:
Get her book!! Here.
Find Rachel's site here.
Find her on Twitter here.
Find more links and such here. 

Episode 113: Why Your Name Matters with Esther Fleece Allen

Identity. Labels. Names. Who are you?
God knows. No, not like, "Oh, only God knows," but like, He knows you. Knows us. Knows our true identity.
Esther Fleece Allen, author of the new book, Your New Name: Saying Goodbye to Labels that Limit, is determined to help us know it, too. Her story is gripping, and her love for Jesus and people is palpable.
Join us?
 
//: Highlights:
“If I don’t know who I am and who God names me, I will inevitably be redefined and renamed by the culture.” --Esther Fleece Allen
“I was thirteen ... I probably should have gone into the foster care system. I didn’t know how to ask for help. I didn’t know what lament was. These families just recognized that I had a need. They recognized something was off, and they pursued me in that. God showed himself to me in that. One family bought me a car. One family paid for my gas money. One family paid for my prom dress so I could go to prom. On family paid for me to apply for colleges. This is what the Body of Christ looks like.” --Esther Fleece Allen
“[Our labels] can be like a self-fulfilling prophecy: ‘I was orphaned, so I’ll never be loved. My own parents didn’t want me, so I’m not lovable.’ We start putting these walls around our heart, and we start decorating the walls. Suddenly, our lack becomes our identity instead of asking God for something new.” --Esther Fleece Allen
//: Question of the Week for Next Week:
What snack do you love that you get super judged for liking?
//: Do the Next Thing:
Esther's gorgeous book that made me sob? Find it here.
Find Esther's site here.
Find us on the ol' IG here.