Hole in My Heart Podcast

Episode 132: How to Keep Going When You Want to Give Up with Matt, Laurie & Steve

Welcome to Season 4!
We're kicking off this season with a discussion on endurance and courage! What do we do when suffering hits and we're called upon to continue in the work God has given us? Join Matt, Laurie, and Steve as we explore practices and experiences that help build up "endurance muscles" for any form of suffering. 
//: Highlights:
“More and more, [looking back] instills more trust that the God we worship is going to be with me.” -Matt Krieg “Staying in the world, where God has us, is where endurance is required—*and* dependence on Him is required.” -Steve O’Dell “
...[I]f I can do that vulnerable place and open it up to Jesus, throughout the day, if I’m continuing that practice, I actually am able to receive surprises from Him.” -Laurie Krieg
//: Do the Next Thing:
Join our Facebook group for weekly discussions of each podcast!
Sign up for our next webinar Saturday, August 1, 9:30-11am EST to hear more about the practice of lament in everyday life! 
And here's the DARE this week: Share this podcast with ONE person!

Episode 131: Season 3 Recap: Our Favorites and Yours with Matt and Laurie

Guys! It's the season three finale!
After walking through this episode, we felt this season gutted us in the best way and offered hope when we needed it.
We did get practical (our theme this season), and we did get real (our constant desire).
We were so grateful to listen back to highlight clips from some of our favorites and yours:
1. Episode 99:A Gender Conversation Part 2 Heather Skriba
2. Episode 92: Broken/Beloved Pastors Part 2 with Johnny and Amanda
3. Episode 96: Healthy Friendship and Touch as a Single Person with Meg Baatz
4. Episode 104: Practically Living Life in the Presence of God with Ken Boa
5. Episode 109: When Life Doesn't Go as Planned with Sheridan Voysey
6. Episode 128: Engaging Today's Suffering with Hope with Sam and Toni Collier
7. Episode 116: Maturity is Not an Option with John Eldredge
Join us as we pick up themes from each episode, and, of course, talk about how the gospel was good news for us this season.
Thanks for being a part of the podcast fam, fam! See you in August!
*You can find the links to all of the above episodes here.  
//: Highlights:
"I'm so glad that he's living in the open. And I know that pain of the deceit, and the having to hide and to mitigate every circumstance of being found out, and it's so much better on the other side." -Matt Krieg
"Every one of us can take something away from that because we've all experience some kind of heartbreak, disappointment...whatever. And...that just really helped me to...look at it differently. And that's what intimacy with God does, it reframes that stuff." -Steve O'Dell
"Let's get gritty...Let's turn into gold, because the fire's gonna hurt but if we're staying in the fire with Jesus and with each other, we are going to be gold." -Laurie Krieg
//: Do the Next Thing:
Take our HIMH Podcast Survey to help us make season four the best yet! 
Take advantage of our BOGO deal for Journey Well.
Listen to Matt and Laurie's story here.
And Producer Steve's story here. 

Episode 130: Authentic Authenticity in Your Closest Relationships with Ryan Frederick

*Real* talk: Authenticity seems to be currency we can "use" to deepen friendships, feel seen, or even to get more followers. 
But that type of authenticity--that is an end in itself--isn't what we are calling "authentic authenticity." There is selfishness in it, and the fruit produced from it ... tastes gross.
How can we and why should we be truly authentic? How can single people experience this? How can married people if their spouse is unwilling to go to the emotional depths? 
Let's get this this real conversation rolling with author and Fierce Marriage creator, Ryan Frederick.
*Note: The QOTW we give at the end of this episode was answered in 128. 128's is answered next week in 131. ;) Sorry about that!*
//: Highlights:
“The beauty of [speaking emotionally deep] is that it is not a skill that is un-learnable. It’s not something that people cannot overcome. The biggest hurdle is just the desire…until that desire is there, it’s like pulling teeth.” --Ryan Frederick
“One of the biggest issues of our day and age and culture is not the conscious, ‘I’m burying this thing because I just don’t want to got here,’ it’s more, ‘I’m just so distracted I’m not even thinking about going there.’” --Ryan Frederick
“Prayer is not nothing. What is prayer if it is not our expression of our need for God’s explicit intervention in our lives?” --Ryan Frederick
//: Do the Next Thing:
Check out Ryan and Selena's latest book See-Through Marriage here.
Their Fierce Marriage site? Here.
There's a conversation happening on our HIMH Pod FB page! Join it here.
Take our end-of-season survey HERE! 

Episode 129: Pride Month, Healthy Friendships--Your Q & A with Matt and Laurie Krieg

Today is question and answer time with Matt and Laurie! We cover a lot including these questions:
How did we first meet Steve?
How do we handle Pride Month?
How do we plan to address our mixed-orientation marriage with our kids?
How can straight, single guys and girls be friends without the relationship getting weird?
If we, as a married couple, invite a single person into our home how can we prevent it from becoming a situation where one of us falls in love with the single person?
How can I care for my bisexual friend without compromising my beliefs or pushing my beliefs on her?
How can I be committed to a worldview that has caused so much pain and depression for so many LGBTQ+ people?
How do we grieve well—whether for trivial things or deep, human loss?
Let's go, fam.
 
//: Highlights:
“It always has to be this recognition of what is good about Pride Month—about people being able to be open and not hidden. But there is also this sorrow: … the unity that comes from Pride Month is not oriented toward your relationship with God, it’s about something completely different.” —Matt
“Ya’ll, we got to repent for the last x decades of idolatry of marriage, idolatry of sex in marriage, and really? Not honoring this thing that we have eye-rollingly said is ‘Every man’s battle, every woman’s battle,’ and ‘Oh, just hurry up and get hitched and put a ring on your lust.’” —Laurie
“Yes, it costs LGBT+ people something to follow Jesus, but the gospel should cost all of us our lives. And if it is not, are we actually following Jesus?” —Laurie
//: Do the Next Thing:
That BOGO deal for our Journey Well Study? (We will send you two for the price of one!) It's here.
We mention "Safe Place Prayer with Matt" podcast episode. It's here.
Follow us on the IG.

Episode 128: Engaging Today’s Suffering with Hope with Sam and Toni Collier

**FIRST: We have VIDEO!! WATCH this episode here.**
In the midst of national and global suffering, it seems almost wrong to put the word "hope" near it. However, pastor and author Sam Collier, alongside his wife and ministry leader, Toni Collier, know how to carry both hurt and hope in each hand.
How can we do that, too?
Just ... listen.
//: Highlights:
“It’s impossible to pursue justice without hope.” –Sam
“The gospel compels us to be one. I don’t think we get the luxury as believers to forfeit the fight of racism or anything that is keeping us apart. It is a gospel mandate. People say, ‘Just preach the gospel.’ This is the gospel.” —Sam
“We all need to get into our brains the if we are to demand equality, fairness, and love for our own sphere of influence in the world, we dang sure better be willing to demand it and stand for it for everybody else.” —Toni
//: Do the next thing:
GO and preorder Sam's book! Find it here.
Broken Crayons Still Color page that Roni founded? Here.
Follow them on the socials here and here.
The Journey Well Study we mention? Find it here.

Episode 127: Countercultural Parenting and Discipling with Lee Neinhuis

How would you respond if you found pornography on your kid's phone?
(Listeners without kids but who are equally valuable disciple-makers: How would you recommend your friend respond to their kids if they found this?)
Author and speaker, Lee Neinhuis, had to deal with this exact situation, and it taught her, her son, and her family a lot about grace and truth.
But how do we engage not only this specific satiation, but how do we cultivate deep roots in our kids/friend's kids/youth group kids when they are growing up in this extremely challenging cultural context?
Let's dive in.
 
//: Highlights:
"I know my own battle, I know my junk. I know what I think in my head ... They do not give you blinders when you head down the altar ... I notice all the same men the day before I got married, and I still feel attracted to them.  I still have to tell myself 'no' every day ... So, I'm just not surprised. I think if a parent doesn't spend some time exploring, 'What are you tempted toward?' and 'Where are you broken?' then this is going to catch them at a totally different level." --Lee Neinhuis
"He has a testimony that involves [pornography]. I never would have wanted that, but I am so grateful that we fell in that pit, and we walked out as a family stronger." --Lee Neinhuis 
//: Do the Next Thing
Find all of Lee's beautiful work here.
Her book? Here.
Find that Mom's in Prayer Podcast and more here.
Follow us and all of our own parenting/marriage madness on IG here. 

Episode 126: Walking With Trauma While in a Traumatic Event with Mary DeMuth

Do you know anyone processing past trauma while muddling through this pandemic trauma?
Maybe it is you? Maybe it is a friend? Maybe it will be someone you meet tomorrow?
How can we hear and love them well? How can we care for ourselves if we have gone through pain in our past and things have resurfaced in the pandemic? How can we process how this season has been challenging for everyone--whether or not we have gone through another traumatic event?
How can we process our pain? Speaker and author of "We Too," Mary DeMuth, has some tender, encouraging words for us today.
 
//: Highlights:
"Things that stay inside don't do well ... An untold story never heals." --Mary DeMuth
"This is hard. Whether you have had trauma or not, this is hard.  But just because everyone is experiencing it doesn't mean it's not real to you." --Mary DeMuth
"Err on the side of belief ... it's not up to you to try to dissect and try to figure out if it's true or not. If it isn't true it will come out in the end, but wouldn't you want your first response to be empathetic? Wouldn't that be Jesus' first response: empathy?" --Mary DeMuth
"I try to look at [the healing journey] like an adventure because healing is difficult. If I look at healing like climbing Mount Rainier in Washington State, it seems a lot more interesting to me ... It's not going to be easy, it will be very difficult, but it's an adventure. Instead of dreading this fact that you had this flash of a memory, see it as a healing adventure." --Mary DeMuth
//: Do the Next Thing:
Explore more of Mary's resources related to "We Too" here. 
Find Mary's book, "We Too" here. 
Sign up to stay in touch with what is happening here. 
Read about a time I processed trauma through a prayer process here.

Episode 125: What Do We Do with Our Idols? with Dee Brestin

This conversation feels like sitting down with a dear friend over tea.
I can envision us starting out with a sigh, a sip of Earl Grey, and saying: "So, this pandemic has been hard. I haven't *only* been running to Jesus. I've made some mistakes. Can you help think through what is going on in my heart?"
Bestselling author and speaker, Dee Brestin, hears our words, gently translates them into heart idols (power/control, comfort, or approval), and offers us some really practical next steps.
This conversation is what our ragged souls need.
//: Highlights:
"God has given us these needs that he promises to meet...but if we do not trust him to comfort us, if we do not believe he really loves us, if we do not like the way He is doing things, then we will substitute something else." --Dee Brestin
"Idols pretend to be our friends, and then they turn around and cut us to pieces... Play the whole tape out and see where this is going to end." --Dee Brestin
"Sing to your soul. Sing the truth about Me to your soul...and I will come to you if you just wait. You will feel so good in a little while." --Dee Brestin
//: Do the Next Thing:
Find Dee's Idol Lies book here.  
Dee has some great testimonies on idolatry here.
The episode I referred to about lament/forgiveness? Here.
Diagnose your heart idols via Tim Keller here.
The expulsive power of a new affection sermon? Find it here.
A bunch more resources can be found on our podcast episode page here. 

Episode 124: The Enneagram and Marriage with Beth and Jeff McCord

It's time. We finally brought in some Enneagram experts.
Beth and Jeff McCord are definitely Enneagram experts, and are definitely not weird about it. Their approach is focused on the gospel, takes in mind Core Longings (!!), childhood woundings, and even though we  invited them to talk marriage and the Enneagram, the conversation (as always) was applicable to all humans--no matter their marital status.
We also asked how each Enneagram type might be responding to the pandemic. (It. Was. Fascinating!)
We can't stop thinking about this episode or their book.
Get it, fam.
//: Highlights:
"The Enneagram is an X-ray. It clearly shows you what is broken and what is not broken, but it does not do the healing (like X-rays don't). The gospel is the healing power in our lives." --Beth McCord
"What the Enneagram really prepared us for ... rather than for us to miss each other and spin out in anxiety, anxiety and conflict become an opportunity for us to connect with one another at deeper levels than we could have ever done without a pandemic like this." --Jeff McCord
//: Do the Next Thing:
Take an Enneagram assessment from Beth and Jeff here. 
Find more resources here. 

Episode 123: Single but Not Solitary with Pieter Valk

So. Has God called you to singleness or marriage? How did you discern that?
If you are called to singleness, is it temporary or for life? How did you discern that?
If you are called to lifelong singleness ("vocational singleness," as our guest today calls it), is there a creative way to not be lonely in the midst of it?
Why not start a modern-day monastery?
That's what today's guest, Pieter Valk, did, and the conversation about the modern-day monastery's origins and daily life (including how it has changed in the pandemic) was fascinating. 
We also explore how to hear the voice of God, and why we identify differently. (Pieter identifies as gay and I (Laurie) don't--but we also don't fight about it.)
This was a fun one.
//: Highlights:
“About three years ago, I felt God was calling me to vocational singleness, but I had no idea how to do that well or, in particular, I didn’t know how I would find family in that.” —Pieter Valk
"‘You still need family,' [my pastor said]. 'Could I challenge you to create it? … I think you should start a monastery.’ … The rest was history.” --Pieter Valk
"Married people know...you can't keep smiling anymore. You can't do fifty years with this person who is annoying... You're just going to say it... If you're a single person but you're not in a living arrangement where you're stuck with people in a good way (in a healthy environment), you're never going to get to that point where you're really honest with people and iron starts sharpening iron." --Pieter Valk
//: Do the Next Thing:
Learn more about the Nashville Family of Brothers here. 
Find more resources here.