Hole in My Heart Podcast

Episode 148: Defining Stress & Success with John Mark Comer

We have been on pins and needles waiting to release this episode to you all! It is one of those episodes we can't stop thinking about...
Author and pastor, John Mark Comer, brings it. He helps us to think deeply about questions like, "What is success?" "What defines failure?" "What do we do when we are overwhelmed with the calling God has on our lives?" "How do we understand our identity in the midst of the culture we live in?"
Pop in those earbuds and go on that walk, do those dishes, make that Thanksgiving meal, but you may find you need to pause and take notes because this brother has some encouraging and exhortative things to say.
//: Highlights:
“For Paul, Christ did not die so that we do not have to. Christ died to show us how to die.” -John Mark Comer
“The great tragedy of Western life is [that] it’s a lie. Nobody—even the most successful—nobody just keeps climbing the mountain. At some point, you face suffering, pain, failure, rejection, mistakes, regret, and often we don’t see it in the people we lionize, but that’s branding. It’s not because it’s not there.” -John Mark Comer
“So in the old metrics, you knew if you were a good person if you were faithful to your spouse and you raised your children well and you worked hard that day. In the new metrics, you know if you’re a good person, so to speak, based on how many Instagram followers you have, how cool you are, how beautiful you are, how successful you are—these are brutal, punishing metrics that produce massive anxiety, fear, and existential angst in people. Which is why I think much of the gospel for Millennials and Gen Z going forward will be a better way to do identity.” -John Mark Comer
//: Do the Next Thing:
Check out John Mark Comer’s books, especially the latest The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry! 
Help us out! Review the podcast for us wherever you listen :)

Episode 147: Caring For People Wrestling with Gender with Dr. Mark Yarhouse

Walking alongside people who wrestle with their gender identity is such a unique journey.
Because it is so unique and often very complex, it's wise to hear from the experts, don't you think? Dr. Mark Yarhouse is one of the preeminent gender + psychology + Christianity experts, and we brought him on to share about his new book, Emerging Gender Identities, and help us to learn how to walk better alongside our friends who experience some level of gender + body dissonance.
//: Highlights:
“If you’re just a natural object, like a chemical compound…chemical compounds don’t interact with their classification. But if you classify people, a human kind, human beings respond and react to the language and categories you give them, and they begin to think of themselves differently.” -Dr. Mark Yarhouse
“I don’t know that the ministry approach we’re taking to shepherding people is meeting people where they’re at. Because when you have to announce kind of a final decision of, ‘I was facing this fork in the road that was like a crisis for me”—maybe existentially, spiritually, psychologically—“and I was facing this and I didn’t bring anybody in from the church, or at least from the elders and shepherding pastors”…Rather than look at them and say, ‘Can we make sure that you do the right thing?’ I’m gonna look at myself and say, ‘Where are we not connecting in ministry?’” -Dr. Mark Yarhouse
//: Do the Next Thing:
Get Dr. Yarhouse's book!
And listen to the podcast the last time we had Dr. Yarhouse! 

Episode 146: Finding Quiet with Jamie Grace

Have you ever struggled to find quiet? In the world, in your life, in yourself?
We’re here with singer/songwriter and now AUTHOR Jamie Grace to talk about what it looks like to find peace and center ourselves on the Lord in this crazy world we’re living in!
Join us as we hear from her about artistry, anxiety, mental health, comparison, social media, and so much more!
//: Highlights:
“We have this misconstrued concept of what success is, and…we become so anxious as a culture and as a society and as a generation that we can’t find peace until we get the most, or the biggest, or the highest. And practically, we’ll never get the most or the biggest or the highest!” -Jamie Grace
“If I am constantly trying to pursue the best or the most or the biggest or to be loved by all, to be known by all, to have my story shared with all, I will be completely depleted.” -Jamie Grace
“It’s simply not worth it to pursue noise and volume.” -Jamie Grace
“I believe that my God is a healer….I’ve seen God heal, I know what He can do….But who am I to say that God using my testimony is not my healing?” -Jamie Grace
//: Do the Next Thing:
Follow Jamie Grace (and also Laurie) on Instagram! 
Order Finding Quiet, Jamie’s new book, here!
Check out the Pause App by John Eldredge and go find some quiet! 

Episode 145: Impossible Marriage *LIVE:* Worship Jesus Fest with Matt, Laurie, and Steve

It’s the Hole in My Heart Podcast LIVE!
True story: This was about Plan D of our celebratory-book-launch-party-worship fest (thanks, Rona!), but God was in it all the same.
Today, Matt, Laurie, Steve, and some special guests celebrate the work of the gospel through Matt and Laurie’s story and through you all.
There are testimonies, prizes, jokes, and GOOFBALL ISLAND is back for one night only. Thanks for being a part of this adventure, fam!
//: Highlights:
“You’ve wanted to write a book—*A* book—for a long time. But the fact that it’s this book reminds me that it’s the gospel that’s impossible. And as we live that out and reflect that through marriage or whatever we’re called to, we are living out an impossible thing because God’s the author of it. He calls us to impossible stuff, because He went first.” -Steve O’Dell
“Are you willing to give your whole life into HIs hands and say, ’Not my will but yours, God. Will you make this impossible possible? Will you shape me into what you want it to be?’ ….And watch what He does! ….It’s gonna be better than you could write."
//: Do the Next Thing:
ORDER THE BOOK!!! 
Join the Hole In My Heart Facebook Page! 

Episode 144: Impossible Marriage Moment: Masculinity & Sexuality with Matt Krieg

What does “fasting from your desire from sex” mean, and why was it so significant to Matt?
Why do so many male Christian leaders fall sexually? Is “maintenance sex” good for marriages? How can guys access their hearts more (and how can women help)?
Today we are concluding our deep-dive of themes in our Impossible Marriage book with a co-author, Matt Krieg.
//: Highlights:
“Oftentimes, because we are taught that sex is the thing that we're supposed chase—and we’re not supposed to be these emotional people, we’re supposed to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps and get the job done…we just run to what feels good….It’s all very powerful, but it’s not just this physiological thing. It’s emotional.” -Matt Krieg
//: Do the Next Thing: 
Order the book!
Last day to register for the Impossible Marriage Workshop! 
Bonus: Check out Producer Steve on the radio! http://wcsg.org

Episode 143: Impossible Marriage Moments: Single People ”Live the Metaphor” Too with Greg Coles

We often encourage people to: "Live the Metaphor."
It means, "show us heaven in how you live and love." Sure, in our Impossible Marriage book we mainly use the phrase to exhort married people, but SINGLE PEOPLE LIVE THE METAPHOR, TOO. How? One of our favorites, Greg Coles, brings the heat, the love, and the real-time conviction about how single people equally give us a glimpse of heaven, too.
Bring it, Greg. Let's wake up, people.
//: Highlights:
“The Body of Christ is actually purposeful in having people are called to one vocation and another vocation, instead of turning us all into carbon copies of each other. So I think the healthy question that we can ask—any of us, single or married—as we’re thinking about fostering unity within the Body of Christ between us is, ‘How does my vocation equip me to serve the Body of Christ and to be the Body of Christ to the world in a way that a different vocation would not?’” -Dr. Greg Coles
“I think the more we see each other as purposefully different characters in this joint story, the more ready we are to live as one without thinking of ourselves as identical to each other.” -Dr. Greg Coles
//: Do the Next Thing:
Check out our “Live the Metaphor” merch!
Check out Greg’s website (and his amazing book!) here. 
Listen to our other podcast with Greg.

Episode 142: Impossible Marriage Moments: When Past Trauma Affects Today with Dr. David Beach

When past trauma affects today's living, it can be challenging to function in any way.
In this first episode of our Impossible Marriage Moments' mini-series of three, we dive deep into that theme: Laurie experienced trauma's effects in her marriage, it magnetized to her attractions toward women, and together, they almost walked her to a divorce.
What can we do if past trauma is affecting us now? What if it's gripping someone we love? Author and therapist, Dr. Dave Beach, guides us brilliantly toward some next right steps.
//: Highlights:
“Loving attachment is the crucible for a lot of raw stuff but a lot of healing. We’re harmed in relationship and we’re healed in relationship.” -Dr. David Beach
“One of the facets of Jesus that I think brings us more compassion for others is ‘Jesus, Man of Sorrows.’” -Dr. David Beach
“[T]he beauty of a traumatized story with growth and reconstruction is it’s the imprint—the thumbprint, if you will—of God, [of] the gospel. Because that’s what happens in the life of Jesus.” -Dr. David Beach
//: Do the Next Thing:
Check out books by Dr. David Beach and his wife, Cynthia, here! 
Pre-order the IMPOSSIBLE MARRIAGE book!
Sign up for our Webinar!

Episode 141: A Sexual Minority on Racial Equity with Henry Abuto

We often talk about sexuality or racial equity--but what about when both hit home?
Our new friend, Henry Abuto, helps us understand what it is like to live life as a Black man who is also a sexual minority (and an immigrant!), and how we can all engage each other like Jesus.
//: Highlights:
“When I’m not easily swayed by my emotions and I inform my feelings rather than just follow them blindly, that’s when I know I’m speaking from a centered place….If you [Laurie or Matt] leave conversations with each other after resolving conflict, do you feel encouraged and loved by that person, even through admonishment, or do you just feel beat down? If the person feels beat down and discouraged by the things you said to them, then even if you were correct, you were still wrong because of the posture of your heart.” -Henry Abuto
Do the Next Thing!
Check out Henry Abuto’s articles here!
That Barna research we referenced? Here:
Pre-Order our book! :) 

Episode 140: Bridging Divides with Jason and Julie Botbyl

He's Black. She's white. He has his past. She has hers. Then they get married.
Guys, we have our REAL LIFE FRIENDS in the house, and they are here to show us a microcosm of the critical bridging of divides that must happen in our world.
How do they bridge barriers in their marriage? What can we learn from them about bridging racial divides today? Chaplain of the Kent County jail, Jason Botbyl and his wife, Julie, are here to help us out.
//: Highlights:
“I think to live life fully, especially in Christ, there needs to be this vibrant, diverse atmosphere, which I think people are really wanting right now.”-Jason Botbyl
“I know that I’m going to see someone that is made in the Image of God and I know that they need Jesus—that’s a fact. And so, let’s go see what Jesus has for the both of us today.” -Jason Botbyl
“The power of the gospel is just so redemptive—redeeming, buying back what was lost, what was broken.” -Julie Botbyl
“I just picture the cross. There’s this barrier, but I picture the cross in front of the barrier.”-Julie Botbyl
//: Do the Next Thing!
Pre-Order the IMPOSSIBLE MARRIAGE book!!
Register for the Impossible Marriage Workshop!
If you’d like to connect with Jason and Julie, email Laurie at podcast@lauriekrieg.com.

Episode 139: About Jeremiah 29:11...with Megan Fate Marshman

If you've been around the church for a while, you know the verse: 
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 
Jeremiah 29:11 has been showing up on coffee mugs and social media posts for years...but what if, as Megan Fate Marshman says, "we've been holding onto the wrong promises"?
Join us today as we hear from Megan about how to rightly interpret Scripture and hold onto the right promises--promises that will blow your mind if you let them. May you be deeply encouraged in the listening.
//: Highlights:
“‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future’ were words written to a specific people at a specific time and I fear we’ve been holding onto those as promises for ourselves. And we go through COVID-19 and it doesn’t feel like plans to do all of that so then we start to distrust our God, when we’ve been holding onto the wrong promises.” -Megan Fate Marshman
“The way Paul is defining good in Romans 8:29 is this: to form us more into the likeness of Jesus. And if that’s the case, if that’s God’s definition of good, than He can use all things.” -Megan Fate Marshman
“'Even if’ is not my common word. Too often, I use these words: ‘But God, what if?’ …’What if?’ breeds fear. ‘Even if’ breeds faith. And why can we say ‘even if’? Because God knows the plans: Jeremiah 29:11.” -Megan Fate Marshman
//: Do the Next Thing:
Get Megan’s new book, Meant For Good!
Pre-Order the Impossible Marriage book! (Releasing October 27th!!)