Hole in My Heart Podcast

Episode 232: The Genesis of Gender | Abigail Favale

If you care about the gender conversation at all, we believe this conversation is critical.
Dr. Abigail Favale wrote Laurie’s favorite book on gender this year called “The Genesis of Gender,” and the conversation about it is—*chef’s kiss*—rich and practical.
Together, they talk about:
—Is sexual difference an afterthought of the Bible?
How can we define woman and man?
Is the fact that intersex people exist the proverbial “trump card” for more than two sexes?
How can people walk alongside those they love who wrestle with gender? (And what if we wrestle ourselves?)
| Highlights |
“The gender-affirming medical model presents itself as a quick fix. It is concrete. ‘I now have a very concrete, step-by-step process that I can follow that will speak to this misery I am undergoing.’ That is a very compelling narrative, so I have nothing but compassion for people who go down this road to try to manage their suffering. I have less compassion for people in authority who should know better.” —Abigail Favale
“Yes, boys can play with these toys, but they are still boys because of the kind of bodies they are…You  have a body where you could grow up and be a daddy one day.” And: “You have a body that could grow up and be a mommy one day.” —Abigail Favale
“There was never a time where the medical establishment said, ‘The cure for anorexia is liposuction or to affirm young women’s views of themselves…’ Now we have adults in authority telling distressed young women [who wrestle with gender], ‘You are right about how you feel about your body, and let me help you to radically change it.’” —Abigail Favale
| QOTW | 
What is the best pickle? (Oh, my word…Matt writes a haiku against pickles hahaha)
 
| Next Steps |
Abigail’s new memoir here.
Her gender book here.
Her Twitter: Twitter/X @FavaleAbs
Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here.
Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

Episode 231: Everyday Evangelism | David Bennett

We LOVED this conversation.
 
In the midst of divisive ... everything… in the world today, it reminded us about what really matters: JESUS. THE GOSPEL. And that sharing Jesus (evangelism) is an absolute joy when you love Him.
 
Theologian, author, and our friend, David Bennett, is the one who reminds us of our first love (Jesus), and also helps us think through:
 
—Why should we tell people about Jesus?
How can we make it less awkward?
Should it feel natural to us?
What if people respond poorly? 
| Highlights |
 
“If I was married, I would tell people how amazing my spouse is all the time because I like to share good things with people. If you’re in love with Someone, you talk about them. That’s my favorite form of evangelism.” —David Bennett
“Why do I love evangelism? Because I get to see God—Jesus—born in someone. There is nothing better than that in the world.” —David Bennett
“When you realize, ‘I ain’t got nothing’—that’s when you’re the best evangelist. Because I don’t have anything. Even with all my degrees, who cares? What matters is that Jesus died and rose again and he’s awesome and there’s nothing better in life and people need that and are perishing and it’s urgent.” —David Bennett
 
| QOTW |
 
What was your youth group name if you had one—or what would you name it now?
 
| Next Steps |
 
David joined us twice before. Listen here and here. 
David’s site here.
David’s IG here. 
Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here.
Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

Episode 230: Laurie’s Book Club | Anxious Generation

We’re trying something new called Laurie’s Book Club, where “she reads the book so you don’t have to.
 
Granted, we would love it if you read the book and “discussed” it alongside us on the pod, but if you’re anything like most of the world, you’d love to hear a summary of the book, any major nuggets, a little discussion, and call it a day.
 
That’s what we are starting today!
 
The book of focus is Jonathan Haidt’s instant NYTimes best seller, The Anxious Generation. It’s globally shaking up families, school systems, and even legislation around phones and screen times for the Gen Z—and we believe it’s shaking it in a good way.
 
How?
 
It names some of the problems for the massive anxiety and depression outbreak among Gen Z and it offers some solutions.
 
What are they? You’re going to have to listen in—but you don’t have to read the book.
 
| Highlights |
 
“I see the mindsets in p*rnography as in social media: They can be a means to control negative emotions, they can foster passivity to your real life, you can consume the image of another person, and you are always seeking novelty. The more we live out of these mindsets in social media, the easier it is to jump over to the more overtly negative ones like p*rn.” —Matt Krieg
“If I was to summarize Haidt's thesis statement it would be: Parents, over-protect online, and under-protect in real life when it comes to real life, outdoor play with trusted friends.” —Laurie Krieg
“I think that the ironic thing about this is that what we have been told the intent of mobile technology is that it is a point of connection, but the evidence is showing that it is creating this weird isolation. It is an ironic result.” —Steve O’Dell
 
| Next Steps |
 
Find Haidt’s book here.
Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here.
Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

Episode 229: Let’s Get a Proper Theology of Suffering | Kelly Kapic

Suffering, eh? Sounds … super … fun. 
Ya know, the older we get, the more we realize just how important our theology of suffering is when we are … well, suffering.
As Kelly Kapic said in today’s episode, “You don’t realize how flimsy your theology of suffering is until you use it as a resource to live on.” 
For example, if we think suffering should be escaped, *when* we suffer we will try to outrun it. (Which is hard to do if we are enduring physical pain.)
If we think suffering should be embraced, *when* we suffer we might try to make it our identity.
Let’s get a proper theology of suffering with someone who isn’t just a theologian of suffering but someone who knows it personally: Author Kelly Kapic. Together, we talk about:
How can we suffer with high hope and high lament?
How can we deal with our chronic pain of the soul or body?
What is up with the book of Job? Is God a bully or kind?
How can we pivot our hearts to suffer well now or in the future?
 
| Highlights |
“You don’t realize how flimsy your theology of suffering is until you use it as a resource to live on. It’s like trying to exist on saltine crackers, and you think, ’No, I need some real nourishment here.’” —Kelly Kapic
“How we respond to suffering really does betray a lot of our view of God.” —Kelly Kapic
“The unsettling thing about Job is that God never answers Job’s questions. He doesn’t. The answer to Job’s question is that God shows up.” —Kelly Kapic
| QOTW |
Space or ocean? Which is better?
| Next Steps |
Find Kelly’s book here.
Find Kelly’s articles on TGC here.
Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here.
Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

Episode 228: Discipling Someone Who Wrestles with Gender | Kat LaPrairie

When I [Laurie] met Kat, she was planning to marry her girlfriend and was considering transitioning to male.
But God was already drawing Kat to Himself, and He tapped me on the shoulder to join the process.
Hear the whole discipleship journey between us today on the podcast.
| Highlights |
“I would be doing absolutely nothing and I would feel this conviction … This fear of ‘Am I making the right choice? Am I rejecting The One?’” —Kat LaPrairie
“This is going to be difficult, it is not solved, my life is still a mess, but this is the first choice in a series of choices that is going to make a difference.” —Kat LaPrairie
“Now, when I notice that temptation for a relationship or when gender dysphoria really ramps up, I know that it is signifying something deeper going on inside of me. “ —Kat LaPrairie
| QOTW | 
Mullets: Yes or no? ;)
| Next Step Resources |
Listen to Kat’s first conversation with us
Find Kat on IG here.
Find Journey Well here.
Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here.
Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

Episode 227: Recovering Our Souls From P*rn Addiction | Sam Jolman

A new Barna study says 54% of Christians watch p*rnography. This number is only 7 percentage points behind the percent of all U.S. adults who consume it (61%).
We need help. How can we get the help we need for our addictions at a soul-deep level? Author and therapist Sam Jolman is here to assist.
Together, we discuss:
—Is male sexuality just extra broken or what? 
—How can we (as men and women) process our first encounter with p*rnography?
—How can we as parents help ready our kids for a porn-pervasive world?
—What can we do if we are caught in an addiction cycle? Is there anything to do other than accountability programs?
| Highlights | 
“Evil hates your sexuality. Evil hates the sexuality of your children. It does not want you to be alive and well in your sexuality; nor does it want that for your children, because our sexuality mirrors so much of our hearts as lovers and worshippers of God.” —Sam Jolman
“Most men’s story of being introduced to pornography is a story of harm.” —Sam Jolman
“[Pornography introduction to kids is a story of harm because…] you have no capacity to know what is coming… You have no capacity to consent. You’re a kid! Even if you ‘knew’ what it was, you really have no idea what this pornography world is. When somebody introduces it to you, often there is an invitation—sometimes out of that person’s arousal or desire to sexualize you… But to suddenly have such material, and to have your body awakened to something but without a category for what you are experiencing—that is a violation.” —Sam Jolman
“Even in our worst sin we cannot eradicate the glory of God in us.” —Sam Jolman
|Next Step Resources|
Good pictures and bad pictures: https://www.amazon.com/Good-Pictures-Bad-Porn-Proofing-Todays/dp/0997318732
Sam’s book: https://www.samjolman.com/the-sex-talk-you-never-got-book/#buynow
Sam’s site:https://www.samjolman.com/
Sam’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/samjolman/?hl=en
Connect to O’Neill Asset Management: https://www.oneillassetmanagement.com
Join the HIMH Pod FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active): https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/

Episode 226: Are You Weak? Good! | Eric Schumacher

Many of us grew up in the church hearing that weakness was a good thing: In our weakness, God is strong through us.
If that’s true, why does weakness feel so terrible?
Today, we talk with author, podcaster, and pastor, Eric Schumacher about “the good gift of weakness,” why many of us don’t like it, and why it is the best place to thrive as a human being.
We also discuss:
—How did Eric’s “failing at ministry” help him to recover his life?
—Is weakness found in creation and in the new heavens and new earth, not just in the sinful world?
—What if we are tired of being weak?
| Highlights | 
“Is there a place in the Kingdom for someone as weak as me?”
“This is the good news for the Christian: Jesus became weaker than we will ever be because He was dead under God’s curse, and we will never be that weak because He was.”
“Paul knew Jesus was the kind of man who would invite his disciples to see him trembling and sorrowful to the point of death in the garden of Gethsemane. Part of imitating that Savior is putting your own weakness on display for all to see.”
| Next Step Resources | 
Eric’s book: https://www.amazon.com/Good-Gift-Weakness-Strength-Redemption/dp/0736988661
Eric’s site: https://emschumacher.com/about-eric/
Eric’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/emschumacher
Connect to O’Neill Asset Management: https://www.oneillassetmanagement.com
Join the HIMH Pod FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active):https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/

Episode 225: How to Stay Sane Through Another Political Cycle | Preston Sprinkle

Something we so appreciate about Dr. Preston Sprinkle is he doesn’t tell us what to think, he encourages us to think about what we are thinking about.
When it comes to engaging politics, we need people to help us think about politics biblically first.
If you’re like us, you’re all done with politics…yesterday. 
And yet, we cannot escape it. Is there a way to engage it without losing our minds (and faith)?
Theologian, author, podcaster, and friend of the podcast, Preston Sprinkle, is just the expert we need to help us think about politics biblically.
We discuss:
How can we vote with a Kingdom of God mindset?
What is the Kingdom of God anyway?
You talk about “exiles” and “Babylon,” and I hear that language in the Bible, but how does that apply today?
If we are primarily citizens of the Kingdom of God, does that mean we should never take an active role in political things?
| Highlights |
“The day after the election, your kingdom mission is exactly the same, and the power you have to fulfill that kingdom mission is exactly the same. The values you are to embody are exactly the same.”
“Our primary citizenship is as a member of Christ’s global, multiethnic kingdom that has been dispersed among the nations.”
“Our allegiance to King Jesus should throw a heavy shadow on all the things that these earthly kingdoms are doing.” 
| QOTW |
What game are you secretly good at? (You guys make us laugh!)
| Next Step Resources |
Read Preston’s ‘Exiles’ book here
Read the Bible he edited here 
Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here 
Join the HIMH Pod FB group here
Follow Laurie on IG here (where she is the most active)

Episode 224: Why We Need to Look Back to Move Forward | Lisa-Jo Baker

If you have ever struggled to process your story (and who hasn’t??), this episode is for you.
Author, teacher, and child-of-a-one-time angry father, Lisa Jo Baker, takes us by the hand and guides us to take the tiniest look back so we can move forward into healing.
| Main Themes |
Why do we avoid going back into our stories?
Why do we need to? (Do we need to?)
How can you write a book about the most painful places in our lives?
What if those we love don’t want to or can’t reconcile?
| Highlights | 
“A thought dropped into my head, ‘You need to speak about what it was like to be the child of an angry parent.’” 
“By the time I finished writing the chapter, I would feel this profound sense of, ‘Oh, He did it again!’ Jesus went back, picked apart these terrible places in my life, and brought healing.”
“If you take anything from my story, it’s this: it wasn’t me, I didn’t do it. It wasn’t my dad. He didn’t do it. It was Jesus and his grace and mercy he orchestrated the entire thing simply because I was willing to look.”
| About the Guest |
With a BA in English/prelaw from Gordon College and a JD from the University of Notre Dame Law School, Lisa-Jo has lived and worked on three continents in the human rights field and subsequently spent nearly a decade leading the online community of women called (in)courage as their editor in chief and community manager. She’s the co-host of the Out of the Ordinary podcast. Originally from South Africa, Lisa-Jo now lives just outside Washington, D.C., where she met and fell in love with her husband in the summer of ’96. Their story together spans decades, languages, countries, books, three very opinionated children, and one dog, and is written in Lisa-Jo’s latest book, It Wasn’t Roaring, It Was Weeping.
| Next Steps |
Lisa’s book
Her IG
Her site
Thanks to O’Neill Asset Management!
Join the HIMH Podcast FB Page!
 

Episode 223: Protecting Our Kids in This Wild World | with Julia Sadusky

If you’re a parent or mentor of young kids right now like we are, I am pretty sure you could marinate in fear every day of the week. 
Add the fact that it is up to us parents and mentors to teach these kids facts and wisdom about sexuality and body safety, and you can just find us in a panic attack on the floor every-other day of the week.
But what if we didn’t have to? What if we could learn how to wisely lead them in the midst of this wild world?
Today, psychologist and author Julia Sadusky helps us to do just that. Together we discuss:
• Why is avoiding conversations about bodies and sex lead to a lack of safety for our kids?
• What is the difference between sharing sexualized content with kids and talking about sexuality with kids?
• How do we non-anxiously but wisely engage body-exploration that kids naturally do?
• What are family rules and why might I consider having them? 
• What if we already feel like we failed as parents and mentors of young kids? How can we recover missed years?
| Highlights |
“What is beautiful about parenthood is you get to be this imperfect representation to the world and to your kids of what we do when we fall short of the glory of God.” —Julia Sadusky
“You will either be the first to have the sexuality conversations or the last.” —Julia Sadusky
“What we know from know from research on childhood sexual abuse that the number one thing that protects children and makes it less likely for them to experience sexual abuse in childhood is for them to know the accurate terminology of their private parts. When I learned that it blew my mind and it made me think to myself: If we could get all Christians on the same page that we are going to do this, sexual abuse in childhood in our generations can go down markedly.” —Julia Sadusky
“Young people are naturally curious about everything… We want to scaffold and support that learning. But without guidance from the primary people in their corner, young people will go elsewhere.” —Julia Sadusky
| QOTW |
Are you an ice or no-ice person? And what shape does it need to take? (Square, round, or perhaps Death Star shaped??)
| Do the Next Thing |
Julia’s book, Start Talking to Your Kids About Sex 
Julia’s IG: instagram.com/drjuliasadusky
Julia’s site: juliasadusky.com
Join the HIMH FB group here
Follow Laurie (where she is talking about things like this often) here: instagram.com/laurie_krieg
Email us your questions here
Watch the episode here